Thursday, May 7, 2009
AS FIRST PUBLISHED ON WOMAN.CA
Relationship Rescue: Don't Be Afraid To Renovate
Are you stuck in a relationship rut? Do your rituals feel like rules locking you into a pattern that's stale? Are you reading a script that no longer fits? Perhaps your relationship is new but your dynamic feels old or you've been together forever and you are now talking about the weather. When you hit your couple limit and start to feel like you want to head for the hills or hide under the covers, it may be time to try something completely different.
To quote George Bernard Shaw: "The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew every time he sees me, while all the rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them." Imagine a relationship that renegotiated behavior regularly based on what was needed instead of one that rested on what once worked. Picture the partnership that remodels role requirements at least as often as it redecorates. Better yet, consider how you can be the couple that cleans up their act more often than you clean out your closets.
Consider shaking things up if you are struggling with:
3. Feeling unheard
4. Feeling misunderstood
5. Feeling ignored or invisible
6. Lack of passion
7. Lack of intimacy
8. Lack of spontaneity
9. Lack of creativity
10. Lack of time
Before you run and head for the door and even before you fall to the therapist's floor, there are many things the two of you can do to restructure, realign and revitalize your rleationship. Start by sitting down together and agreeing that the parthership needs an adjustment and commit to begin by being your own relationship chiropractors.
In order to ensure that you and your partner are equipped with the strategies necessary to realign your relationship, stay tuned for the follow-up article entitied:
10 Postions Your Sex Therapist Forgot To tell You About
Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B., M.S.W, A.T.C