tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62019655266974109612024-03-18T21:08:19.463-07:00Deb SaidDeborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-47978854859002288462016-04-08T23:23:00.000-07:002016-04-08T23:23:41.721-07:0020 Tips For Dealing With Whatever Comes Up During Your Divorce<a href="http://divorcedmoms.com/articles/20-tips-for-dealing-with-whatever-comes-up-during-your-divorce">http://divorcedmoms.com/articles/20-tips-for-dealing-with-whatever-comes-up-during-your-divorce</a>Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-4219359044365277622015-10-01T22:42:00.001-07:002015-10-01T22:42:34.211-07:00Cheating just a fact in our connected world, experts say | Sex Files | Life | To<a href="http://www.torontosun.com/2015/08/30/a-time-to-stray?token=74071fad7c5c0571d5ddd11b371a3c49">Cheating just a fact in our connected world, experts say | Sex Files | Life | To</a>Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-25983620056798807202015-10-01T21:51:00.001-07:002015-10-01T21:51:07.910-07:00Things women overshare the most (and what they don't share at all) | Life | Toro<a href="http://www.torontosun.com/2015/09/28/things-women-overshare-the-most-and-what-they-dont-share-at-all?token=c7614bfd31e39d0b81c58dc5083bacdc">Things women overshare the most (and what they don't share at all) | Life | Toro</a>Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-75181568510676557192014-01-09T21:58:00.000-08:002014-01-09T21:59:27.931-08:00First Wive's World Interviews Deborah Mecklinger - Divorce Mediator, Coach and Therapist<img alt="“Walk the Talk” with Professional Coach Deborah Mecklinger LL.B., M.S.W, A.T.C" src="https://www.firstwivesworld.com/media/k2/items/cache/e781ef096546827b1ba7cafc0d1b2d95_M.jpg" style="height: 330px; width: 330px;" />
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“Walk the Talk” with Professional Coach Deborah Mecklinger LL.B., M.S.W, A.T.C
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Wednesday, 08 January 2014 15:50 </span>
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<span style="line-height: 1.3em;">We all feel pain and loss when a
marriage ends and we could all use some professional help to come out
the other side. The CEO of a major corporation and her administrative
assistant are on equal footing when it comes to the emotional fallout
from a divorce. It’s how you handle that challenge that makes the
difference.</span><span style="line-height: 1.3em;"> </span><br />
<div class="p2">
Executives
hire a professional coach to help achieve personal and professional
growth. Building a new life from the ashes of a divorce is even more
challenging, but there are similar steps in the process. </div>
<div class="p2">
When
we think of the word “coach”, we imagine someone who is vibrant,
inspiring and able to provide us with the practical tools to make
positive change in our lives. That’s <a href="http://www.walkthetalkcoaching.com/index.cfm?ID=4" target="_blank"><span class="s1">Deborah Mecklinger LL.B., M.S.W.</span></a> </div>
<div class="p2">
Deborah
is a Professional Coach, Mediator and Therapist with over 20 years of
experience working with individuals, couples and families who are
focused on navigating the process of divorce in a healthy and positive
way. </div>
<div class="p2">
She is passionate about helping people realize
their goals and build on their strengths. Deborah is compassionate and
down to earth. She developed her “<a href="http://www.walkthetalkcoaching.com/index.cfm" target="_blank"><span class="s1">Walk the Talk</span></a>”
coaching practice using a multidisciplinary approach to life’s
challenges based on her experience and education in conflict resolution
and mediation. She is also an accomplished lawyer with a Masters in
Social Work.</div>
<div class="p2">
Deborah has taught mediation at the
University of Toronto and at Seneca College. She attended The Adler
School of Professional Coaching, University of Toronto Graduate School,
Osgoode Hall Law School and Oxford University. Her practice is located
in Toronto, Ontario.</div>
<div class="p2">
First Wives World had the pleasure of speaking with Deborah about overcoming the challenges of the divorce process.</div>
<div class="p2">
<b>You
have such an accomplished background as a lawyer, mediator, therapist
and coach. What was your original goal and how did you manage to achieve
all of that?</b></div>
<div class="p2">
Deborah: In terms of the law, I
didn’t practice law for too long of a time. I would say I owe law a
thank you card for helping me know that I didn’t want to practice early
on, so I started to pursue other things. I became aware of mediation at
an early stage when I was articling. I decided that I wanted to start
practicing mediation and I became certified as a mediator. </div>
<div class="p2">
Not
much was happening in Ontario at the time, so I applied for an
internship in two states that were more progressive. At that time,
California was one of the leaders in mediation in matters of custody and
access and the State of Florida was well on its way. </div>
<div class="p2">
I
applied and received an internship in the Fort Lauderdale courts in the
Family Mediation and Conciliation program in Broward County where they
ultimately offered me a full-time job as a divorce mediator. I continued
to take classes at a well-known dispute resolution center: CDR
Associates, formerly known as The Center for Dispute Resolution (now
operating as CDR Associates in Boulder, Colorado). </div>
<div class="p2">
They
offered me an opportunity to mediate and to teach and train others, so I
moved there for a period of time. I came back to Toronto as I had
deferred my bar exams. Upon graduation, I took a job as a litigation
lawyer for the Catholic Children’s Aid Society. Of course it was
interesting and challenging, but it wasn’t what I truly wanted to be
doing. I did that for about a year and then decided I really wanted to
pursue my passion in mediation . </div>
<div class="p2">
I spent a period of
time working as a conflict resolver at the Sutton Place Hotel where I
did employer/employee dispute resolution. It was also the time when the
United Steelworkers of America were taking over the hotel and it was
becoming unionized. It was a really interesting time, but while I was
there I was offered an opportunity to work with and then oversee a
colleague’s mediation practice while they were going on sabbatical. That
was really what I wanted to be doing all along. I decided that I wanted
to go back to Graduate School and do my Masters in Social Work, in
order to add a therapy and clinical component to my practice and
ultimately have my own practice.</div>
<div class="p2">
I worked in clinical
settings while I built my practice and that’s now twenty something odd
years later that I’ve been doing divorce mediation. About seven or eight
years ago, I decided that I wanted to give a name to what I was doing
in a different part of my practice, which was strategic work to help
people define very clear goals in the divorce process and providing them
with practical solutions and tools. I attended The Adler School of
Professional Coaching and did the coaching program and then continued to
offer more of that piece to clients – the divorce coaching piece. </div>
<div class="p2">
A
couple of years later, I went to New York and did a Master
Certification in stepfamily coaching. My goal is to be able to offer an
opportunity to approach divorce in a more mindful, practical way from
the point of entry to the end of the process where one might be
reinventing themselves and/or dealing with stepfamily issues and all the
things that happen throughout the process.</div>
<div class="p2">
There are
thousands of nuances that become complicated choices around behavior and
practices, to coming out of that journey and being in a good place.
That’s a lot of what I do in addition to the divorce mediation. I always
say that it was because of my clients that I developed this piece of my
practice. Clients would invariably say, “You helped me with the divorce
process, now I’m dealing with this issue at work and I could use some
of that practical guidance.” Perhaps they were thinking of building a
business or they had a child who needed help. That led to the other
facets of my coaching practice; same wine in different bottles. </div>
<div class="p2">
<b>I
imagine that a lot of women who have been divorced need to make changes
such as re-entering the workforce after being a stay at home mother.
They need guidance with a number of things, like how to fit into the
workplace or get a better job to support a family.</b></div>
<div class="p2">
Deborah:
Absolutely. I have a woman I am working with right now who is bright
and articulate and mindful, but she has no confidence and she doesn’t
see any of that. Every step of the way is a challenge because she doubts
herself. It’s a bit different for this woman because it’s been quite
some time since her divorce and she’s in a healthy relationship. For the
woman who’s just had a divorce – it’s a beat oneself up kind of process
even at the best of times. You are full of doubt and shame and second
guessing and questioning, even if there isn’t somebody who has helped to
bring you down. To try and show the world your best self and tell a
potential employee that you are worthy is hard if you don’t feeling
worthy and confident.</div>
<div class="p2">
<b>They are now calling this
trend for older couples getting divorced after many years, the “grey
divorce” Are there older women who have maybe lived a different
lifestyle and never worked outside the home and need help to readjust?
I’m sure it still happens.</b></div>
<div class="p2">
Deborah: It happens
because it has to happen, depending on the resources of the people
separating. It can be very frightening. Many women are being forced to
go back to work because they can’t afford not to. It depends on what’s
in the joint pot. It takes a certain amount of money for two families to
live off the fat of the land of one, as they make their way into
retirement . It’s a really scary thing for older women entering the
workforce. It’s certainly very complicated. Young women should never
stop working!</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p2" style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.firstwivesworld.com/images/%20Grey%20Marriage.jpg" style="cursor: se-resize !important; text-align: start;" /></div>
<div class="p2" style="text-align: center;">
<i>The Grey Marriage Photo by Abdulsalam Haykal flickr.com/photos/transtek/ (Some Rights Reserved)</i></div>
<div class="p2">
<b>You wrote an article about another form of “</b><a href="http://deborahmecklinger.blogspot.ca/" target="_blank"><span class="s1"><b>grey marriage</b></span></a><b>”
– the kind where there isn’t abuse or real nastiness, but it is an
unfulfilling union. You are the first person I’ve heard talk about this,
most people focus on the really bad marriages. Grey marriages are
probably more common.</b></div>
<div class="p2">
Deborah: The decision to
divorce is a really tough one and when I hear people say divorce is too
easy or happens so easily, I don’t agree. I’ve yet to see somebody
divorce easily or fly out of a relationship. Someone on the outside of
the relationship isn’t seeing the anguish or living through the years of
thinking about something before someone does something about it. </div>
<div class="p2">
In
what I call the grey marriage, it is possible to live a life where you
stay in the marriage; it’s not that it is impossible. The choice to have
perhaps a more meaningful life, a more fulfilling life – it’s hard for
people to take care of themselves that way or honor themselves in that
way. </div>
<div class="p2">
It isn’t that the marriage is toxic or abusive or
has what one may call a “non-negotiable” like infidelity, addiction,
or some other intense betrayal that people would, in popular culture
believe justify divorce. If you don’t have the requisite criteria that
falls into the “divorce-worthy bucket”, it can be even harder for
people to make the decision to divorce. It doesn’t mean that making the
decision to leave isn’t the right decision, but it may be harder to be
sure – because staying is viable. Moreover, it’s hard for people to
believe that they are going to get emotional support from their circle
of friends, family and their world at large.</div>
<div class="p2">
<b>Is
the whole culture around divorce changing and becoming more positive
and less adversarial? There seems to be more access to mediation and
coaching to make the process better by working with people like you.</b></div>
<div class="p2">
Deborah:
I think that there is definitely more awareness and commitment to a
more peaceful and healthier process. I’d say that there is more of an
emphasis on a peaceful process when kids are involved. It’s a trend that
has taken over in matters or custody and access, which is very
important. I work with a lot of experienced lawyers in Toronto and I
would say that the more sophisticated the lawyer, the more committed
they are to a healthier process. An experienced and mindful lawyer
knows when to use an aggressive forum and when not to.</div>
<div class="p2">
I’ll
meet a client who will say, my spouse hired so and so and I hear that
they are a barracuda. Now I need a killer shark. I’ll say, so and so
is not a barracuda, they are a mindful and sophisticated practitioner. I
don’t find that things are thrown to the wolves just for the sake of
it, by a skilled practitioner. Sophisticated practitioners are good
negotiators, they know when issues should be in a mediation,
arbitration, or litigated. Not as much gets “duked out” with healthy
people. There is still plenty of “crazy time” and anger, that’s for
sure, but I just think there is more happening in alternative arenas.</div>
<div class="p2">
<b>A lot of people don’t know whether they need coaching, therapy or mediation. Can you explain the processes?</b></div>
<div class="p2">
Deborah:
Mediation is a process where a neutral third party in a divorce helps
the spouses negotiate agreements in a peaceful way so that both parties
are part of the solution. The mediator doesn’t tell people what to do;
the mediator is a neutral guide who helps facilitate the decision making
process. In an ideal world, the two parties are both satisfied because
they have been part of the process. It’s a very practical problem
solving process with clear goals that are concrete. The outcome is
typically an agreement of sorts, depending on what the outstanding
issues are. In matters involving custody and access, it may be a
parenting plan, a timesharing arrangement, day-to-day guidelines, as
well as arrangements regarding all the practical pieces that impact
people who are separating. </div>
<div class="p2">
Divorce mediation can also
result in agreements regarding child support, spousal support (alimony)
and property division. The goal is to reach an agreement that helps
people avoid an alternative process that is more conflictual.</div>
<div class="p2">
It’s
hard to “bucket” therapy because there are so many different kinds of
therapy. Typically, therapy involves dealing with the emotional world
and how one feels. In divorce, therapy is a process to help people cope
with the emotional journey. It’s about understanding what happened – who
am I in this, how have I contributed and what’s going on in the
emotional world. As well, it is about the wounds, healing and recovery.</div>
<div class="p2">
Coaching
from my perspective kind of fits into the black hole that I don’t think
either process deals with specifically – I’m navigating my way through
divorce, there are many challenges and I need tools and strategies to
help me cope. While I am trying to feel better, I need to behave better.
What should I do? </div>
<div class="p2">
The thing that I find about
divorce is that it can take a really long time to understand. Sometimes
people still don’t understand years later what their piece was, what
actually happened, or they may have a version or a theory. While
understanding and healing occurs people still have to cope, manage and
tend to children, business and important matters. I help people to
develop practical tools, coping strategies, intentional behaviors,
mindful approaches to challenging situations, and adaptive practices
that can be employed day-to-day as they navigate the landmines of
divorce.</div>
<div class="p2">
I deal with goals versus wishes. A goal must
be achievable and it must be something you can do on your own. I try and
encourage people to clearly delineate the difference between wishes and
goals. The coaching process in divorce helps people to harness the
pieces they can take control of in a time and a world where they feel
very out of control. </div>
<div class="p2">
<b>It seems like more people
are seeking out a professional coach for everything from life coaching
to executive coaching, and all of life’s challenges.</b></div>
<div class="p2">
Deborah:
It is a luxury, but if we can afford it, why not have somebody to help
us get clear about what our choices are, help us to be more intentional
and to develop outcomes that serve us? On the other hand, how can we
afford not to use a coach? The divorce process is overwhelming and
confusing and people often don’t see how they can “self-direct”. It is
particularly interesting helping people during this time of tumult.
Clients need to have a template for what they need to do. How do I talk
to my children? When my spouse and I are separating and we are still
sharing space together, what are the rules of engagement? Every minute
of every day is an opportunity for them to make practical choices and to
develop tools to cope in areas that are brand new and challenging
because the ways to go wrong are so plentiful.</div>
<div class="p2">
<b>Do you work with the entire family?</b></div>
<div class="p2">
Deborah:
When I am mediating, I work with both parties. As a coach, I see a lot
of people on their own. I have many co-parents who I have worked with
from beginning to end. They come to talk about their kids and to develop
parenting strategies and plans. They may come to ask for help to plan
an event – it is our son’s Bar
Mitzvah/baptism/christening/wedding/birthday and we need to figure out
how to put the event together in a very respectful and elegant way and
what’s that going to look like? We have a child who is dealing with a
school/ learning issue and we need to figure out how to support his/her
dyslexia or we have a child who is ill and need a plan of care. There
are so many different issues. I often deal with three generations -
grandparents, parents and children.</div>
<div class="p2">
<b>I can see that, especially in a divorce, the grandparents can feel left out. That must be a major issue.</b></div>
<div class="p2">
Deborah:
Parent’s most often carve out the role for grandparents in intact
families and in separated families. If grandparent’s are excluded they
may wish to exercise rights and to use their voice in a process like
mediation to resolve issues and or relationships. A grandparent may
have a different view of what their role should be. Oftentimes a
grandparent is directing a parent and that can be a different challenge.
Working with grandparents can offer a holistic approach in many
situations and this can also involve education, boundary setting and
communication coaching.</div>
<div class="p2">
These things are very
challenging for the people who really want to try and do it right. It’s a
great process to get everybody on board and develop healthy tools so
that they are all speaking the same language. I try and help my clients
develop a new vocabulary and come up with healthier language. However
it is a much healthier language if all family members are using it. </div>
<div class="p2">
<b>How
do you break the news of a divorce to children? Even adult children
have a difficult time accepting their parents’ divorce, sometimes it is
even more difficult for them.</b></div>
<div class="p2">
Deborah: I think
in the best of situations, the mom and the dad would sit down with the
kids together after they have developed a joint message, or a script of
what they agree to share with the children. It depends on the age and
stage of the children, but having said that, I do think that whether you
are forty hearing about your parents’ divorce, or you are four, I don’t
know that the forty-year-old needs a lot more information than the
four-year-old, or wants a lot more information than the four-year-old.</div>
<div class="p2">
I
really believe that if parents were to talk to their forty-year-old
kids like they would a four-year-old, they would do a whole lot better.
For the most part, when they talk to the older person, they share a
whole lot of information that is not appropriate.</div>
<div class="p2">
I
think components about telling children about divorce, if it is a
healthy child that is developmentally on task, if they are narcissistic
and thinks about how this impacts them – I think they are best served by
understanding it’s a hard decision that the parents haven’t arrived at
easily and that the parents still care for one another but are not able
to be happy together in a way that is important to each of them.</div>
<div class="p2">
They
have to let the children know that they have decided they would both be
happier to be leading lives on their own but they love the children
deeply and will be there for them, separate and together. It’s important
to let them know that nothing that has happened is the children’s fault
and that though it’s going to be challenging, they are both going to be
there to help them through it. </div>
<div class="p2">
In terms of content
around why this is happening; the inner workings of the relationship and
the dynamics, I don’t think that any kid needs to be a part of that nor
do they want to be a part of that. I think that is stuff that should be
shared with a therapist or their best friend over a cocktail or a cup
of coffee and not their children. </div>
<div class="p2">
The most important
part of the conversation with their kids is, what’s life going to look
like? So the conversation is best had when parents are clear about what
the next steps are and what the kid’s life is going to look like and
having a plan in place. That is what gives the kids confidence, security
and stability – those important pieces that will keep them grounded
comforted and an anchored. </div>
<div class="p2">
It isn’t really divorce
that destroys children, it’s the way that people do it that rocks their
world. It can be earth shattering at first because their world is rocked
and changed. Parents need to go through the process respectfully,
decently and in a mindful way where there isn’t conflict. There really
can’t be a lot of conflict because the kids are privy to undercurrents.
Kids know what is going on with their parents. It is HOW parents
navigate their way through the process that affects kids most
dramatically. </div>
<div class="p2">
It’s really not about that “onetime”
speech. That conversation is going to happen in a hundred and one ways,
on a million and one different occasions. It is going to be revisited in
so many different situations and it is an ongoing conversation that has
to be respectful and congruent with the opening conversation. Most
importantly, it has to be congruent with the parents’ behavior. If the
behavior is different than the conversation, then the conversation is
moot.</div>
<div class="p2">
Which brings me to ‘walk the talk’. That is my
number one thing – congruence. It doesn’t matter what you say, it’s what
you do. You have to act the part, you have to behave in kind and if you
are saying one thing and showing them something else, it’s just not
going to work. That’s why I try to help people develop behaviours that
are congruent with the message. I will tell people long before they are
ready to be the part; they have to act the part. </div>
<div class="p2">
What
does it look like to behave like a respectful person in divorce? What
does that mean when I want to say “asshole”? What should I say instead?
Well why don’t you say, Bob? How about using his name? So let’s start
with language. Let’s develop different habits so “asshole” doesn’t slip
out. Instead of saying “slut”, why don’t you call her Bridgette, so that
doesn’t slip out when the kids are there? Literally, that’s how I drill
it down.</div>
<div class="p2">
It sounds positive and it might work in a
different narrative. Ultimately this becomes a habit. I guess you could
say I try and help people develop better divorce habits. </div>
<div class="p2" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="p2" style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.firstwivesworld.com/images/unnamed-2.jpg" style="cursor: se-resize !important; line-height: 1.3em;" /></div>
<div class="p2" style="text-align: center;">
<i>Talking it out – Photo by Bailey Rae Weaver flickr.com/photos/baileysjunk/(Some Rights Reserved)</i></div>
<div class="p2">
<b>What
if you try on your side, but the other person isn’t cooperative? You
can only work on yourself. Can therapy or coaching help when the other
person is being really negative and awful?</b></div>
<div class="p2">
Deborah:
It depends. The answer varies, depending on which of those processes
you are talking about. If you are in mediation and there aren’t two
parties that want to be a part of a cooperative dispute resolution
process, one person can’t be in mediation by themselves. I don’t want to
deal with people who are coming to mediation to check off a box, they
both have to be committed or it just becomes a forum for beating each
other up and I don’t want to be a part of that.</div>
<div class="p2">
I think
there are lots of benefits and there are lots of positive outcomes that
one can receive from being in therapy regardless of whether somebody
else wants to participate in the process. You can’t be in marital
therapy by yourself, and you can’t be in family therapy alone, but you
can work on personal change that can potentially impact any of those
situations on your own.</div>
<div class="p2">
Coaching as well; you can
benefit from individual coaching whether or not someone else wants to be
part of the process. In fact, if you are dealing with a challenging
person, coaching can be extremely beneficial. I deal with a lot of
individuals in my practice who have tried everything to make changes in
their situation through negotiation, mediation or litigation. Then they
get to the place where they are saying so now what? Now I actually have
to cope. A lot of that happens in divorce – once they are finished with
the lawyers, it’s kind of like: the patient survived the surgery but
died in recovery. Now coaching can begin!</div>
<div class="p2">
I help people
come out of that recovery so that they are not limping, so that they
have healthy tools to walk and to manage their world, given their
idiosyncratic situations. So if they have an alienating parent, an
abusive situation or toxic elements, there are ways that they can deal
with challenging situations –financially, practically or with their
children. You can think of a thousand and one situations – how do they
build their lives, how they make positive productive choices that will
serve them given the predicament they have to shake hand with. </div>
<div class="p2">
<b>Most
of us seem to get into these patterns and we never think of new ways to
cope or interact. A lot of us alienate our friends and family by
constantly talking about our divorce problems. Is that something you
help people with?</b></div>
<div class="p2">
Deborah: I think people
develop habits that don’t serve them. If you think of it more as a habit
instead of a pattern, it’s less daunting to change because you can
really develop a different habit, a new divorce habit. I try and help
people develop different practices, behaviors and habits that will
result in better outcomes. It’s a new way of interacting with people:
how to deal with the private and the public divorce and the different
tiers – what to say to my family, to my first tier friends, to the
second tier friends, my children’s friends parents, my employer, my
colleagues , etc. It starts by developing a way of approaching divorce
that creates a whole way of living with it and a completely different
narrative. Your friends are like milk; they have a shelf life and like
milk will go bad if you are constantly talking about your divorce. They
don’t want to hear about it over and over again. They run out of tools
and get depleted. The only person who is going to hear about it over and
over again is the person you are paying by the hour. The only person
who should hear about it is the one who can help bring about positive
change. I try and help people to appreciate that they can make concrete
changes and develop healthier divorce habits. </div>
<div class="p2">
Thank you, Deborah, for sharing your expertise and insight with us.</div>
<div class="p2">
How do you deal with the situations that divorce has brought to your life? Share your stories in the comment box below.</div>
</div>
</div>
Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-53026013611556970752012-04-09T15:14:00.003-07:002012-04-09T15:32:50.833-07:00The Grey Marriage<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT1RXPWSeYQ2AlCbu4a1OMRkuoxWM67BYuNs74c773IYWAeScLaIksE8IZx4QyXmA5RmmnU8QTxf1DRCoKpREeyZTF7CjdW7b7OrGXd3SJ0dvysrB9qcT7qaOPVRMtp8UJeaYt2-5Cxdw/s1600/feb-11-grey-likes-weddings1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT1RXPWSeYQ2AlCbu4a1OMRkuoxWM67BYuNs74c773IYWAeScLaIksE8IZx4QyXmA5RmmnU8QTxf1DRCoKpREeyZTF7CjdW7b7OrGXd3SJ0dvysrB9qcT7qaOPVRMtp8UJeaYt2-5Cxdw/s320/feb-11-grey-likes-weddings1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>If deciding to end a marriage that exists in black and white is challenging, the decision to leave the "GREY" marriage is even more complicated. If the black and white marriage affords one with clarity around what is tolerable and absolutely intolerable and is filled with clear deal breakers, the grey marriage exists in the world of palatable. It is the marriage that has unfulfilled dreams, unmet expectations, disappointments but none so bad that it is unequivocally intolerable. It may be the marriage that is never so great and never so bad, the one without passion but not noisy, not so neat but not so messy that it can't be mopped up.<br />
<br />
The grey marriage leaves people saying,"Is this how it's supposed to be?" "S/he is not meeting my needs, but what am I to do?" "S/he is not an alcoholic, a substance abuser, abusive, takes care of the kids/finances......a decent wo/man.....but we don't seem to have anything in common anymore." "I can't be sure I will be happier if I leave, I just know that this doesn't seem right." "There must be more to life..." "While we don't fight, our kids don't see love and passion." "I could stay and I could go, how am I to know?"<br />
<br />
The spouse whose marriage is being played out in painful brush strokes of black and white is afforded a more precise lens to assess the viability of their marriage, while the spouse in grey is given a fuzzier lens to look through. Does that make the decision to leave any less justified? I would say, it does not but it may make the decision harder to arrive at, more difficult to rationalize and more of a challenge to come to terms with. In fact, I would suggest the decision to leave a grey marriage requires that the decision-maker come to terms with the possibility that they could have decided to stay or to go and that either choice may have been viable. That does not mean that staying would have been the right decision, but rather it means living with the wonder that comes with grey.<br />
<br />
Leaving a grey marriage means coming to terms and accepting one's ability to make a decision and to live with it comfortably. It means embracing that a decision was made. It does not mean that one has to know that the alternative was not acceptable. It is about making a choice and giving oneself permission to live peacefully and guilt-free with the choice. One never gets to live the unwritten chapter but somehow, when the unwritten chapters seem clearer or like ink would have been in black on white, living with the unwritten grey makes it harder to know if one should leave or stay.<br />
<br />
Some words of advice to the spouses who find themselves assessing their grey house:<br />
<br />
1. Don't expect an epiphany - the point of the grey marriage is that it is tolerable and there is no cataclysmic event in the grey marriage that will leave you with a D-Day.<br />
<br />
2. The grey marriage often has one spouse who can tolerate the grey and one who cannot. Leaving the spouse who chooses to live in grey is not for the faint-of-heart.<br />
<br />
3. You don't need to come up with really awful material about the grey marriage to justify leaving - you just need to be able to live with the fact that there isn't really awful material. <br />
<br />
3. Get help in determining which path to take and how to move forward.<br />
<br />
If you live in a world of grey but dream in technicolor the journey to end your marriage is complicated but no less justified. The emotional terrain is painful and challenging and the importance of self awareness is critical. Do the work on the front end so your decision is one that is lived in a state of peace.Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-79564669853210571922010-09-20T21:24:00.000-07:002010-09-20T21:33:44.397-07:00Divorcing spouses quit Facebook in favour of privacy<a href="http://www.canada.com/entertainment/Divorcing+spouses+quitting+Facebook+favour+privacy/3542063/story.html">Divorcing spouses quit Facebook in favour of privacy</a><br />
<br />
I am quoted in an article in The National Post on Divorce and Social MediaDeborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-58431264946073734612010-03-12T14:30:00.000-08:002010-03-13T07:39:52.201-08:00Managing the Step Family: A Strategic Approach to Mergers and Acquisitions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<br />
You are entering a new dimension, an alien world where the regular rules of the road do not apply. It is the world of STEP FAMILY. No - not "Blended Family", because it is critical that you understand this sooner than later, Step Families do NOT blend, they collide. So hang on to your hat for the ride and prepare yourself for a more realistic approach to your merger or acquisition.<br />
<br />
As a Master Certified Step Family Coach with The Step Family Foundation of New York, I would encourage you to do away with all myths and fantasies connected to dating when either you or your new partner have children from a former relationship. It is essential that couples relinquish any preconceived ideas of what remarriage with children from former relationships might look like.<br />
<br />
Do not allow love, passion, excitement or hope to catapult you into any form of "blended family delusion." Love Me, Love My Children is not the motto that works. Wishful thinking, fantasies or idealized visions will get in the way of creating a map that will lead you to your intended destination - a thriving step family.<br />
<br />
Instead, put on a set of clear lenses, roll up your sleeves and get ready to prepare, as you attempt one of the biggest challenges you have ever tackled. The more realistic, informed and mindful your are - the greater the likelihood that you will be successful as you move to connect two complex family systems in a meaningful way.<br />
<br />
It is highly recommended that anyone attempting to forge healthy and positive step family relationships first develop an understanding about the unique behaviors and dynamics endemic of step families. Once understood, it is essential that couples work together as a team to create roles, rules and a concrete road map. As CEOS of your respective corporations, you will be well-poised to deal with your intended merger and acquisition in a proactive way.<br />
<br />
Deborah L. Mecklinger, LL.B., M.S.W, A.T.C<br />
Professional Coach, Mediator and Therapist<br />
<br />
www.walkthetalkcoaching.com<br />
www.debsaid.comDeborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-682220916865498702009-06-28T18:21:00.000-07:002009-06-28T18:31:15.823-07:00DIVORCEE ON BOARD: A NEW FORM OF ROAD RAGE<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifEG9RsaoId_a3psc205l-2DQvhSsjsgE74UOPZFRQmUmBEpxYAXgKs0drTYz67QPYJRt7IEkEU0t0ZiiCEXupzqwtOpcLS9k1XDcYTtB1KZAa2wDmLhoifj-GXqGZ3vR8DkjKgGGlhwA/s1600-h/iStock_000007452539XSmall.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifEG9RsaoId_a3psc205l-2DQvhSsjsgE74UOPZFRQmUmBEpxYAXgKs0drTYz67QPYJRt7IEkEU0t0ZiiCEXupzqwtOpcLS9k1XDcYTtB1KZAa2wDmLhoifj-GXqGZ3vR8DkjKgGGlhwA/s400/iStock_000007452539XSmall.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5352555754379457186" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Divorcee on Board: A New Form of Road Rage?<br />As Posted on FIRSTWIVESWORLD.COM by Deborah Mecklinger on Sun, 06/28/2009 - 11:57pm<br /><br />Should there be a "Duty to Declare Divorce" to the Department of Motor Vehicles? Are the newly separated a danger to themselves and others when driving under the influence of divorce and its associated trauma? No doubt the onset of divorce is often akin to flying head-on into a Mack Truck, but does that mean you need to actually drive into one?<br /><br />On a daily basis, clients share stories of their most recent fender benders, collisions and sometimes major accidents — all noted as a direct consequence of overwhelming distraction and their distraught state. In particular, men and women report that in the early stages of separation they encounter an out-of-body experience and have little recollection of how they got through their day, managed their children or performed their job.<br /><br />They say that driving when fatigued is like driving while intoxicated. While it is difficult to attribute sleepiness to car accidents as there is no standardized test for fatigue like there is for intoxication, data shows that fatigue slows reaction time, decreases awareness and impairs judgment. The newly separated not only report inability to sleep and the ensuing fatigue but an overall feeling of emotional and physical exhaustion in the early stages of divorce or periods of extreme conflict.<br /><br />So how do the newly separated get from point A to point B in their cars? Many have no idea. In fact, it is not uncommon for those in the throws of divorce to report locking keys in their car, driving in circles, passing their destination, forgetting where they are headed and getting lost on their way. Divorcing drivers have even commented that it was luck not presence of mind that allowed them to drive without incident.<br /><br />If you or a loved one are driving under the influence of divorce consider the following strategies before getting behind the wheel:<br /><br />1. Call a friend and ask for a ride. Finally, a way for someone waiting in the wings to be helpful.<br />2. Take a cab, public transit, or walk. Not only will you be safe, but you will have the opportunity to clear your head.<br />3. If you are going to drive, put your cell phone in the back seat. Resist all temptation to call your lawyer while driving, vent to a friend while at light or call your EX and rage. Eliminate an additional distraction.<br />4. Write down directions, get a map and put an extra set of car keys in your purse, pocket, office or other convenient location.<br />5. When you park the car, write down on a piece of paper the exact location of where you parked. Take the paper with you and pay attention to where you put it. Leave a pack of POST IT notes in the car to make this easy.<br />6. Make sure you are well rested and take a coffee, tea, or bottle of water along for the ride.<br />7. Never drive yourself to court. You are sure to be stressed to max on your way there only to be trumped by how you may feel on your way home. Follow 1 or 2.<br />8. The same can be said for driving to meetings with your lawyer.<br />9. If you feel like you are driving recklessly and cannot resist, give your car keys to a friend.<br />10. Slow down. Turn the music down. Turn the noise down. Turn the DVD player down and drive with extreme caution and care. Be aware of your distraction and focus.<br /><br />If driving under the influence of divorce is on your radar, remember that it is not a chronic condition but rather a phase that can be navigated strategically and safely. At the very least, shake hands with your divorce distractions and your distress and drive with caution and care.<br /><br />For more information visit: www.walkthetalkcoaching.comDeborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-14248397384256478382009-06-07T20:23:00.000-07:002009-06-10T08:17:09.350-07:00Big Night Out: Celebrating Big Brothers and Big Sisters......AS FIRST PUBLISHED ON WOMAN.CA<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmVUJGGASMG9jgds_oDGasK-svLlXaehyRJl0bADkGDyBkYVWvLiegYZ1Y6lcNiX2q3WGX_10FbcnP3J_mLYKEqDQRD0cDqhzB3lL-2F7YyShD1hObQX1hbN7DGbk3Ld0qvhhWN8vGYyk/s1600-h/IMG_1855-1.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmVUJGGASMG9jgds_oDGasK-svLlXaehyRJl0bADkGDyBkYVWvLiegYZ1Y6lcNiX2q3WGX_10FbcnP3J_mLYKEqDQRD0cDqhzB3lL-2F7YyShD1hObQX1hbN7DGbk3Ld0qvhhWN8vGYyk/s400/IMG_1855-1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5344794141154680002" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmKGQPhs0K3tYrjy0RCo0eHPMjes47LKNKbmUFdXh1buQbzoFgY5WrZS5zI45E1GXv6YqdTlaOpw5AOMAC8SQ3eA9FjoKpFrmDvZNRYuahuv3po3mNRPP1zXIxQmypdlZi511r03xwNo4/s1600-h/deb-mcgrath.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 350px; height: 262px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmKGQPhs0K3tYrjy0RCo0eHPMjes47LKNKbmUFdXh1buQbzoFgY5WrZS5zI45E1GXv6YqdTlaOpw5AOMAC8SQ3eA9FjoKpFrmDvZNRYuahuv3po3mNRPP1zXIxQmypdlZi511r03xwNo4/s400/deb-mcgrath.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5344794031418828274" /></a><br /><br /><div>Big Night Out: Celebrating Big Brothers and Big Sisters<br /></div><div>Friday, June 5, 2009 Posted in Career - Mentor Profiles</div><div>E-mail comment on this item</div><div><br /></div><div>Co-Host Debra McGrath Gets Personal with WOMAN.ca</div><div><br /></div><div>altWhat's better than a big, beautiful summer night out of "pay-it-forward" fun with Deb McGrath and Colin Mochrie?</div><div><br /></div><div>Generations of young Canadians have benefited from the tireless work of Big Brothers and Big Sisters of Toronto (BBBST).</div><div><br /></div><div>WOMAN.ca's Career Section Columnist Deborah Mecklinger connects with Debra McGrath on this big festive occassion. The exclusive annual event took place June 4th 2009 at the Liberty Grand in Toronto. McGrath and her husband Colin Mochrie lent their talent as hosts of this spectacular event. The gala celebrates the organization’s stars – the adult volunteers and their Little Brothers and Sisters.</div><div><br /></div><div>The dazzling event glittered with celebrities and paparazzi. Some of the stars that walked the red carpet in honor of BBST were: Michael Labinjo (Calgary Stampeders), Sony recording artist Eva Avila, ET Canada Host Cheryl Hickey, Recording Artist Sean Jones, Olympic champion Donovan Bailey, CFL Player Mike Labinjo and Gemini and Genie Award-Winning Canadian Director Peter Raymont.</div><div><br /></div><div>WOMAN.ca Honours Big Brothers Big Sisters</div><div><br /></div><div>Our own Deborah Mecklinger meets the multi-faceted actress, comedienne, writer and performer extraordinaire over coffee.</div><div><br /></div><div>There's only one problem, one cup of coffee is not enough – I now want Debra McGrath to be my friend and so would you. Deb is a woman’s woman. She's warm, engaging, real, intelligent, soulful, witty and anchored. Rooted in family, community, friends, marriage and motherhood – Debra takes all that to her writing, television and the stage. She also brought it to our meeting at Starbucks. Lucky me.</div><div><br /></div><div>Among McGrath’s accomplishments are: Women Fully Clothed, Paradise Falls, Getting Along Famously and Little Mosque on The Prairie. Writer, director, actress and comedienne are only some of Deb’s hats. As local evidence of Debra’s talent, she recently received her star on the Scarborough Walk of Fame. Debra described the overwhelming emotion she experienced as she received this honor with her life-long friends, extended family, son and husband there to celebrate with her.</div><div><br /></div><div>I decided to take the interview to a place that Google did not steer me to. McGrath, a very open and wise woman’s woman, was gracious enough to open up and share. Here are some words of wisdom we can all benefit from.</div><div><br /></div><div>On living your best life: “Take a good look in the mirror and be so appreciative of your body and how it looks and how it feels and love what you see. I promise you will look back and say, why the hell didn’t I know how good I looked?”</div><div><br /></div><div>On risk-taking: "Go for it, take chances. Don’t be afraid. Take risks. I do it now in my way and am no longer afraid of making a fool of myself. Don’t be afraid to fail, don’t play it safe – don’t settle for middle ground."</div><div><br /></div><div>On happiness: "Give yourself permission to do what makes you happy. I am no longer doing anything in my life that makes me miserable, and if it does, I am getting out of it. I am doing what makes me happy.”</div><div><br /></div><div>On friendship: “Surround yourself with those who bring something positive to your life. I have weeded out or been weeded out by those that don’t bring me pleasure or add to my life.”</div><div><br /></div><div>On marriage: “I am proud to say that I have a stupendous marriage of quality and joy. We laugh all the time. Say what you like and don’t like, apologize, accept criticism if it is done constructively, do things together and change it up. A good marriage involves falling in love over and over again with the same person.”</div><div><br /></div><div>On laughter: “Laugh at each other, laugh with each other and laugh at yourself.”</div><div><br /></div><div>I left my meeting with McGrath feeling positive and empowered as she shared her approach to living her best life. I could think of no better woman to share the stage as host of the Big Night Out Gala than a woman who is a role model and mentor for learning how to live their best life. </div>Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-33189177401159953242009-05-28T20:41:00.000-07:002009-05-28T20:46:19.646-07:00SEE JANE LEAD....As First Posted on woman.ca<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 18px; font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;"><h1 style="line-height: 1.1; font-size: 225%; font-weight: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">Lois Frankel on Taking the Lead at Work</h1><div class="article-tools clearfix" style=" display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; width: 100%; clear: both; color: rgb(171, 171, 171); position: relative; font-size:100%;"><div class="article-meta" style=" padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; width: 70%; float: left; font-size:100%;"><span class="createdate" style=" padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 3px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 5px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/vline.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: 100% 50%; font-size:92%;color:initial;">Thursday, May 28, 2009 </span><span class="article-section" style=" ;font-size:92%;">Posted in Career - </span><span class="article-section" style=" ;font-size:92%;">Corporate Coping</span></div><div class="buttonheading" style="font-size: 100%; float: right; "><span><a href="http://www.woman.ca/component/mailto/?tmpl=component&link=aHR0cDovL3d3dy53b21hbi5jYS9jb3Jwb3JhdGUtY29waW5nLzEyMzUtam9icy1ndWlkZS1ib29rcy13b21lbi1jYXJlZXJzLWxlYWRzaGlw" title="E-mail" onclick="window.open(this.href,'win2','width=400,height=350,menubar=yes,resizable=yes'); return false;" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; "><img src="http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/emailButton.png" alt="E-mail" style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 2px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 2px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; vertical-align: middle; " /></a> </span><a href="http://www.woman.ca/corporate-coping/1235-jobs-guide-books-women-careers-leadship#comments" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; "><img src="http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/commentButton.png" alt="comment on this item" style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 2px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 2px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; vertical-align: middle; " /></a></div></div><div class="article-content" style="font-size: 100%; "><br /><div class="ultimatesbplugin_top" style="font-size: 100%; float: right; text-align: center; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 10px; "></div><h3 style="line-height: 1.1; font-size: 150%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span>Books to Boost Your Career</span></h3><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span><img src="http://www.woman.ca/images/stories/authors/deborah_mecklinger/images.jpg" alt="See Jane Lead" width="158" align="left" height="176" style="padding-top: 2px; padding-right: 2px; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 2px; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-right-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-left-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; margin-top: 7px; margin-right: 7px; margin-bottom: 7px; margin-left: 7px; " />Women lead households, fundraising committees and the PTA. We plan weddings, surprise parties and family vacations. We can even lead our "school-phobic" children to the classroom with the precision, inspiration and conviction of a world class leader. In her latest book<em>See Jane Lead</em>, The New York Times best selling author teaches women how to utilize their innate ability to influence people to achieve their full potential in the workplace.</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span>Author of <em>Nice Girls Don't Get Rich</em>, <em>Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office</em> and <em>Stop Sabotaging Your Career</em>, Dr. Frankel gets to the core of what holds women back from reaching their potential. Filled with advice, tools and strategies from positive female role models and successful business leaders, Frankel offers a blueprint consisting of 99 strategies to help women unleash their natural leadership skills.</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span>Frankel explores the dated male model of "command-control" style of leadership, and contrasts it with the transformative and collaborative approach that comes naturally to women. Frankel explores how womens' relationship building skills, ability to motivate, and their EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient) equips them to be ideal leaders in today's world.</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span>Frankel shows women how to let go of the "self-sabotaging" behaviors that get in their way and use the resources, skills and traits they already possess in order to succeed. Read <em>See Jane Lead</em> and ignite your inner leader. Whether you to take your "inner leader" to the soccer field, the bedroom or the boardroom, Frankel will ensure that you use and improve the talents you didn't know had.</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span> </span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span>SEE JANE LEAD</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span>99 Ways for Women to Take Charge at Work</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span>By Lois P. Frankel, PhD</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span> </span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span>By Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B., M.S.W, A.T.C</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span>Professional Coach</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span>http://www.walkthetalkcoaching.com</span></p><div class="pagenav" id="navigation" style="font-size: 100%; clear: both; height: 30px; margin-top: 10px; width: 100%; "><div class="pagenav_prev" style="font-size: 100%; float: left; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/corporate-coping/1206-career-business-casual-wardrobe-suit-dress-for-success" title="How to Audit Your Corporate Wardrobe" style="text-decoration: none; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/bg-pagenav-button.png); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; font-size: 92%; font-weight: bold; text-transform: uppercase; color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 27px; height: 27px; width: 132px; text-align: center; display: block; opacity: 0.85; background-position: 0px 0px; ">« PREVIOUS</a></div></div></div></span>Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-65953195988981362292009-05-16T20:18:00.000-07:002009-05-16T20:27:49.443-07:00Blackberry Storm Blows Down Cheating Spouse: What To Do If You Want To Know The Truth<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoHuLdPsNHWfJ-e_0njuKAPWR9idTfbJu4nvf2BYfTINUJfR6xh7u_9kHPaJ4ye5IaG01VV5Z_qBogZLNOGXwWr17qzwk1T7Ye9m4w91RDC8zCZ-UnqfYxq-B9Tkw3Jne-pA_59b5Ie9U/s1600-h/cheating_spouses.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 166px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoHuLdPsNHWfJ-e_0njuKAPWR9idTfbJu4nvf2BYfTINUJfR6xh7u_9kHPaJ4ye5IaG01VV5Z_qBogZLNOGXwWr17qzwk1T7Ye9m4w91RDC8zCZ-UnqfYxq-B9Tkw3Jne-pA_59b5Ie9U/s400/cheating_spouses.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336628457054007618" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />SATURDAY, MAY 2, 2009 POSTED IN LOVE - LOVE & SEX AS FIRST PUBLISHED IN WOMAN.CA<br /><br /><br /><br />If your 6th sense is screaming that your spouse is cheating ask yourself if you really want to know. If you have been walking around riddled with anxiety and suspicion that your spouse has broken with tradition and is committing adultery it is no coincidence that you may be the last to know. The anxiety, pain and fear of the truth, is the only thing keeping you from being a sleuth.<br /><br />When you get to the place where you can no longer manage to ignore the signs with a marital bandage it may be time to take control and get in the know. If you fear the city is talking and the neighbors all know you can be sure the Blackberry is the host of the show. The compelling desire to stay connected is fueled and supported by the technology Blackberry’s effected. The number of calls and texts most lovers send is enough to put their secret to an end.<br /><br />Once you decide to turn signs into proof the following tips will turn you into super-sleuth:<br /><br />Go For The Oscar: Do not tell your partner you are suspicious. If you already have – take a break and act like you believe them. They will be more likely to slip up if they don’t feel “watched".<br /><br /> Repeat Performance: Pay attention to patterns. Most cheating spouses meet at the same place and at the same time each week. Cheaters find it easier to create routines. It makes it easier to “get away.” From the standing Wednesday evening “Board Meeting” to the Thursday Pilates class, the “standing” excuse goes along way.<br /><br />Black and White: Take written notes regarding warning signs. The patterns will appear before your very eyes. If you don’t put pen to paper you will ignore the details and it won’t seem real.<br /><br />Ask The Audience or Call A Friend: If you dare, they will bare. Get ready for the truth. Everyone else always knows.<br /><br /> Record Keeper Catches Cheater: Check phone bills and credit card statements. The bad news and the good news is that they talk on the phone, buy one and other gifts, stay in hotels and eat out.<br /><br />Spring Cleaning: Empty pockets, check wallets and search drawers. Lingerie, condoms and receipts will be there to prove they are a cheat.<br /><br />Computer/Digital Spyware: Voice-activated digital recorders left in the car and spyware on computers will tell you who and where they are. The technology is evolving faster than the cheaters can run.<br /><br />GPS: Get Philandering Spouse: No need to wonder where your spouse wanders. You can follow their every move and receive email notifications the second they get in their car. Your Global Positioning System will enable you to log in and follow the cheater.<br /><br />Bug Cheating Spouse: FlexiSpy for Blackberry or iPhones is software you download on the Blackberry or phone and it will collect data (SMS texts, emails and telephone calls – even deleted ones) and send it to a web account you set up. Even remote listening is possible.<br /><br />I Spy: Hire a Private Investigator. The last place to go if you really want to know or the first place to start to catch someone breaking your heart<br /><br />Getting to the truth will save your mind so you can move forward no matter what you find. The facts and the proof that you obtain will give you the strength to determine how you want to proceed. The information is a place to start talking about what is true without anyone telling you that you have no clue. The bottom line is that everything you need to know is probably as close as the buzzing Blackberry that is vibrating in front of you.<br /><br /><br /><br />By Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B., M.S.W, A.T.C<br /><br />www.walkthetalkcoaching.comDeborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-23135913293760911032009-05-15T19:00:00.000-07:002009-05-15T19:20:22.829-07:00The Elegant Email: Ten Tips To Help You Communicate More Effectively<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8ncAXF7OpokcaY6Aw8LkXcITjzNuwa4y7E2lJe3A1QC41ixia4cPk5HK3bUsDuhhACLgvAOPtgseQbfS7rENhs-6cHN5Ozi1qEEFpIZgTaTNaaHS8VKITtX1jox4OUbem5YBA1A3A3_M/s1600-h/images.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 116px; height: 116px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8ncAXF7OpokcaY6Aw8LkXcITjzNuwa4y7E2lJe3A1QC41ixia4cPk5HK3bUsDuhhACLgvAOPtgseQbfS7rENhs-6cHN5Ozi1qEEFpIZgTaTNaaHS8VKITtX1jox4OUbem5YBA1A3A3_M/s400/images.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336240805291315714" border="0" /></a><br /><br />As First Published in The Wisdom Of Communication: A Collection of Writings That Can Change Your Life<br /><br /><br />Is the Elegant Email a paradox or a realistic goal? Is every email we send an opportunity to forget who we are or is it another way of showing people who we are? If the “sent email” is representative of who we truly are, then it is time to think about the message we want our emails to communicate before we hit SEND!<br /><br />Elegant is defined as, “gracefully refined and dignified, as in tastes, habits or literary style; excellent, fine or superior; simplicity in execution, simple and precise.” The Elegant Email is well designed, intentional and strategic. The goal of the Elegant Email is to communicate information clearly, without intricacy and uncompounded by emotion that may likely be misconstrued.<br />In the frenetic world we live in, with virtual mailboxes overloaded, blackberries buzzing and little time for thinking before speaking, even fewer are thinking before sending. While we all know that we should, include a “subject” that is relevant in the heading, omit slang, capital letters, bold and exclamation marks to emphasize or yell. Use spell check, double check who we are replying to, and eliminate the use of BCC to bully. There are many things we fail to consider before we hit send and end up in cyber chaos. Here are some guidelines to help you put your best email forward and show the world that you are elegant, even when you land in their inbox.<br /><br /><ol><li>Define the goal of your message before writing your email. Does your email achieve that goal? Edit extraneous information that does not serve the goal of the email.</li><li>Be aware of tone and err on the side on neutral. Sarcasm, irony and humor can be easily misconstrued. The use of point form supports a neutral approach and is particularly useful with emails of confrontational or challenging nature.</li><li>Tease the email through an “emotion filter.” Does the email sound like it comes from the head or the heart? Ask yourself if this email is written from the place it is coming from, and if it is coming from the place it was written.</li><li>If your email is filled with emotion, is it appropriate in the circumstances? Filter your response through # 1 and ensure that you are serving your identified goal.</li><li>Is email the appropriate modality of communication? Do not forget that telephone calls and face-to-face meetings are still in style and may be more suitable in many situations.</li><li>Consider the pros and cons of writing an email versus having a conversation. Ask yourself if you are forgoing elegance for efficiency and evaluate the costs and benefits of your chosen form of communication.</li><li>Read the email before sending and if needed, sleep on it. If the email was written from a place of anger, frustration, or any other heightened sense of emotion, save it as a “Draft” and revisit. The distance will help ensure your email is appropriate.</li><li>Imagine you are the receiver of the email and reread the email from that perspective. Remember that you will not be at the receiver’s side to explain and interpret the email.</li><li>Ask yourself the following question: “Is this email acceptable for the world to see?” Remind yourself that the world may see your email so, “Smile, you’re on candid camera!” Your audience may include your boss, board of directors, spouse, ex-spouse, lawyer, judge, friends and family.</li><li>Ask yourself the following question: Does this email represent my best attempt at communicating clearly, elegantly and respectfully? If the answer is No, go back to Step One and rewrite. If the answer is yes, proudly press send.<br /></li></ol>Embrace your ability to email elegantly and practice a conscious form of communication in the cyber world. You may find your Drafts outnumber your Sent Messages, your phone may become your new best friend or you may go for rapport over the Reply. Either way, your elegant emails will be a model for those receiving your messages to respond in kind. With the touch of a button you will have changed the world.Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-1320108430426418792009-05-07T20:14:00.000-07:002009-05-15T22:02:20.639-07:00The Comitted Couple's Guide to Getting Back on Track<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMHUyO6cZhxdWLauZKKSAzZ55aaDp9cuIKjH1FhyjgchOY-1tz86AtcpSAyBqnrqBAVF9FNGz7PzRG_lmIi86dypn2NJJaN7HzKeyO2UOro4FgtnRFm8H4YkACJGOxQ4C_Vc9zUiE92HM/s1600-h/images-1.jpeg" style="text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><br /></span><img style="text-decoration: underline;margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 124px; height: 124px; " src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMHUyO6cZhxdWLauZKKSAzZ55aaDp9cuIKjH1FhyjgchOY-1tz86AtcpSAyBqnrqBAVF9FNGz7PzRG_lmIi86dypn2NJJaN7HzKeyO2UOro4FgtnRFm8H4YkACJGOxQ4C_Vc9zUiE92HM/s400/images-1.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5333291386423412354" border="0" /></a><br />AS FIRST PUBLISHED ON WOMAN.CA<br /><br /><br />Relationship Rescue: Don't Be Afraid To Renovate<br /><br />Are you stuck in a relationship rut? Do your rituals feel like rules locking you into a pattern that's stale? Are you reading a script that no longer fits? Perhaps your relationship is new but your dynamic feels old or you've been together forever and you are now talking about the weather. When you hit your couple limit and start to feel like you want to head for the hills or hide under the covers, it may be time to try something completely different.<br /><br />To quote George Bernard Shaw: "The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew every time he sees me, while all the rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them." Imagine a relationship that renegotiated behavior regularly based on what was needed instead of one that rested on what once worked. Picture the partnership that remodels role requirements at least as often as it redecorates. Better yet, consider how you can be the couple that cleans up their act more often than you clean out your closets.<br /><br />Consider shaking things up if you are struggling with:<br /><br />1. Boredom<br /><br />2. Frustration<br /><br />3. Feeling unheard<br /><br />4. Feeling misunderstood<br /><br />5. Feeling ignored or invisible<br /><br />6. Lack of passion<br /><br />7. Lack of intimacy<br /><br />8. Lack of spontaneity<br /><br />9. Lack of creativity<br /><br />10. Lack of time<br /><br />Before you run and head for the door and even before you fall to the therapist's floor, there are many things the two of you can do to restructure, realign and revitalize your rleationship. Start by sitting down together and agreeing that the parthership needs an adjustment and commit to begin by being your own relationship chiropractors.<br /><br />In order to ensure that you and your partner are equipped with the strategies necessary to realign your relationship, stay tuned for the follow-up article entitied:<br /><br />10 Postions Your Sex Therapist Forgot To tell You About<br /><br /><br /><br />Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B., M.S.W, A.T.C<br /><br />Life/Divorce/Executive Coach<br /><br />www.walkthetalkcoaching.com<br /><br />deborahmecklinger.blogspot.com<br /><br />twitter.com/elegantdebDeborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-65895334298411505622009-05-06T16:58:00.000-07:002009-05-15T20:53:06.431-07:00The Motherhood Career Track is Full of Surprise<div>AS FIRST PUBLISHED ON WOMAN.CA</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 18px; font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;"><h1 style="line-height: 1.1; font-size: 225%; font-weight: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">The Motherhood Career Track is Full of Surprise Perks</h1><div class="article-tools clearfix" style="font-size: 100%; display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; width: 100%; clear: both; color: rgb(171, 171, 171); position: relative; "><div class="article-meta" style="font-size: 100%; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; width: 70%; float: left; text-transform: uppercase; "></div><div class="buttonheading" style="font-size: 100%; position: absolute; top: 0px; right: 0px; width: 62px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 3px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 3px; "><span><a href="http://www.woman.ca/component/mailto/?tmpl=component&link=aHR0cDovL3d3dy53b21hbi5jYS9lbXBvd2VybWVudC8xMTYyLW1hbmFnaW5nLW1vdGhlcnMtY2FyZWVyLWJlbmVmaXRzLWV4cGVjdGF0aW9ucw%3D%3D" title="E-mail" onclick="window.open(this.href,'win2','width=400,height=350,menubar=yes,resizable=yes'); return false;" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; "><img src="http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/emailButton.png" alt="E-mail" style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 5px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; float: right; " /></a></span></div></div><div class="article-content" style="font-size: 100%; "><br /><div class="ultimatesbplugin_top" style="font-size: 100%; float: right; text-align: center; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 10px; "></div><h3 style="line-height: 1.1; font-size: 150%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; ">Managing Mother's Day Expectations</p></h3><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><img src="http://www.woman.ca/images/stories/beauty_tips_for_busy_mothers.jpg" alt="alt" align="left" style="padding-top: 2px; padding-right: 2px; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 2px; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-right-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-left-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; margin-top: 7px; margin-right: 7px; margin-bottom: 7px; margin-left: 7px; " /></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; ">How many mothers do you know who make Mother’s Day brunch? How many mothers spend their day running to the soccer field, lugging the laundry and shopping for last minute groceries for their Mother’s Day event? Perhaps you know the woman who even buys herself roses for the Mother’s Day centerpiece as she races home to cook and set the table.<br /><br />Fast forward to the morning after Mother’s Day. If you were a fly on the wall at the Mother’s Day post-mortem you would know that for many, the day is like any other day. <br /><br />Consider the following tips to help make Mother’s Day special:</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; ">1. Plan ahead: Mother’s Day is on the calendar. It should come as no surprise.<br />2. Get a head start: Start the festivities at midnight and let her enjoy longer.<br />3. Clean up! Breakfast in bed looses its charm if it stays in the bed. Don’t leave mom with the mess. <br />4. Get out of your Mother’s Day Flower Box. If you are known for bringing her red roses, try hydrangeas instead.<br />5. Be a team leader. Take children shopping, help them create, craft and share their love. <br />6. Rally the troops: If your wife or mother feels compelled to make brunch or dinner for her mother or daughter - take over. Get creative. Dine out or order in.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; ">7.Change the routine. Fire Mom from her daily responsibilities.<br />8. Use your voice. Ask your special woman what would make her day. Listen and follow through.<br />9. Go Buffet Style. Give her a smorgasbord of love, attention, pampering and free pass that lets her escape.<br />10. Fuel the hand that feeds you. Use Mother’s Day to replenish and nourish the woman you want to honor.<br /><br />If you are having Mother’s Day dread or simply wondering how you can improve on breakfast in bed, start talking and plan ahead. Create a Mother’s Day vision that incorporates insight, knowledge and clarity to ensure the day is a success. <br /><br /></p><div class="ultimatesbplugin_bottom" style=" ;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(235, 235, 235);"><div><div><br /></div></div></span></div><div class="art_bottom" style="font-size: 100%; "><br /><br /></div><div class="box_author" style="font-size: 100%; background-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(208, 208, 208); border-right-color: rgb(208, 208, 208); border-bottom-color: rgb(208, 208, 208); border-left-color: rgb(208, 208, 208); color: rgb(51, 51, 51); float: left; margin-top: 30px; margin-right: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 10px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; "><br /></div><div id="jcWrapper" style="font-size: 100%; width: 99%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: auto; "></div></div></span></div>Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-3930851054194849362009-05-06T16:41:00.002-07:002009-05-15T21:39:06.533-07:00Why He Didn't Call You Back<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjua2KrBETgsO3HGdJQVwfrUe3v-b2a_zwU_huoKlDRA2KyV2Esoic01XHRE3gdkLyRgc3cBA-pw1e-hS6K9agb02jVoOZAxILwjeedob49wTzhY1r-M-hyjslyR-LhEcBcH-rHbMhSs9s/s1600-h/phpOQBRplPM.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 100px; height: 66px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjua2KrBETgsO3HGdJQVwfrUe3v-b2a_zwU_huoKlDRA2KyV2Esoic01XHRE3gdkLyRgc3cBA-pw1e-hS6K9agb02jVoOZAxILwjeedob49wTzhY1r-M-hyjslyR-LhEcBcH-rHbMhSs9s/s400/phpOQBRplPM.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336276582598239650" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Times;"><div style="margin-top: 0px; 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cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/" class="menu-item0 first-item" id="menu222" title="Home" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: block; text-decoration: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 13px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; font-size: 100%; text-transform: uppercase; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/blue-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 100% 8px; "><span class="menu-title">HOME</span></a></li><li class="havechild" style="line-height: 160%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; float: left; display: block; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/style" class="menu-item1" id="menu189" title="Style" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: block; text-decoration: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 13px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; font-size: 100%; text-transform: uppercase; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/blue-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 100% 8px; "><span class="menu-title">STYLE</span></a><ul style="list-style-type: none; list-style-position: initial; list-style-image: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; position: absolute; z-index: 100000; left: -999em; height: auto; width: 11em; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-right-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-bottom-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-left-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-top-width: 5px; border-top-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); opacity: 0.9; background-position: initial initial; "><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/style/beauty" class=" first-item" id="menu381" title="Beauty" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Beauty</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/style/fashion" id="menu383" title="Fashion" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Fashion</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/style/red-carpet" id="menu651" title="Red Carpet" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Red Carpet</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/style/best-bets" id="menu382" title="Best Bets" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Best Bets</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/style/the-daily-pump" class=" last-item" id="menu687" title="The Daily Pump" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">The Daily Pump</span></a></li></ul></li><li class="havechild" style="line-height: 160%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; float: left; display: block; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/living" class="menu-item2" id="menu193" title="Living" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: block; text-decoration: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 13px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; font-size: 100%; text-transform: uppercase; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/blue-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 100% 8px; "><span class="menu-title">LIVING</span></a><ul style="list-style-type: none; list-style-position: initial; list-style-image: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; position: absolute; z-index: 100000; left: -999em; height: auto; width: 11em; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-right-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-bottom-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-left-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-top-width: 5px; border-top-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); opacity: 0.9; background-position: initial initial; "><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-pink.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/living/food-and-drink" class=" first-item" id="menu386" title="Food & Drink" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Food & Drink</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-pink.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/living/home-and-design" id="menu387" title="Home & Design" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Home & Design</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-pink.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/living/entertaining-and-lifestyle" id="menu385" title="Entertaining & Lifestyle" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Entertaining & Lifestyle</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-pink.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/living/automotive" id="menu384" title="Automotive" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Automotive</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-pink.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/living/pets" id="menu652" title="Pets" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Pets</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-pink.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/living/gadgets" class=" last-item" id="menu654" title="Gadgets" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Gadgets</span></a></li></ul></li><li class="havechild" style="line-height: 160%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; float: left; display: block; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/travel" class="menu-item3" id="menu199" title="Travel" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: block; text-decoration: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 13px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; font-size: 100%; text-transform: uppercase; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/blue-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 100% 8px; "><span class="menu-title">TRAVEL</span></a><ul style="list-style-type: none; list-style-position: initial; list-style-image: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; position: absolute; z-index: 100000; left: -999em; height: auto; width: 11em; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-right-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-bottom-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-left-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-top-width: 5px; border-top-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); opacity: 0.9; background-position: initial initial; "><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-green.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/travel/destinations" class=" first-item" id="menu392" title="Destinations" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Destinations</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-green.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/travel/celebrity-circuit" id="menu390" title="Celebrity Circuit" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Celebrity Circuit</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-green.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/travel/hotel-reviews" id="menu393" title="Hotel Reviews" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Hotel Reviews</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-green.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/travel/culinary-tourism" id="menu391" title="Culinary Tourism" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Culinary Tourism</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-green.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/travel/best-spas" class=" last-item" id="menu395" title="Best Spas" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Best Spas</span></a></li></ul></li><li class="havechild" style="line-height: 160%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; float: left; display: block; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/entertainment" class="menu-item4" id="menu434" title="Entertainment" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: block; text-decoration: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 13px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; font-size: 100%; text-transform: uppercase; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/blue-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 100% 8px; "><span class="menu-title">ENTERTAINMENT</span></a><ul style="list-style-type: none; list-style-position: initial; list-style-image: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; position: absolute; z-index: 100000; left: -999em; height: auto; width: 11em; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-right-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-bottom-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-left-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-top-width: 5px; border-top-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); opacity: 0.9; background-position: initial initial; "><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-blue.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/entertainment/gossip" class=" first-item" id="menu400" title="Gossip" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Gossip</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-blue.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/entertainment/movies" id="menu398" title="Movies" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Movies</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-blue.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/entertainment/television" id="menu402" title="Television" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Television</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-blue.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/entertainment/music" id="menu401" title="Music" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Music</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-blue.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/entertainment/books" id="menu397" title="Books" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Books</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-blue.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/entertainment/show-reviews" class=" last-item" id="menu653" title="Concert / Show Reviews" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Concert / Show Reviews</span></a></li></ul></li><li class="havechild" style="line-height: 160%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; float: left; display: block; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/love" class="menu-item5" id="menu198" title="love" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: block; text-decoration: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 13px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; font-size: 100%; text-transform: uppercase; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/blue-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 100% 8px; "><span class="menu-title">LOVE</span></a><ul style="list-style-type: none; list-style-position: initial; list-style-image: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; position: absolute; z-index: 100000; left: -999em; height: auto; width: 11em; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-right-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-bottom-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-left-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-top-width: 5px; border-top-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); opacity: 0.9; background-position: initial initial; "><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/love/love-and-sex" class=" first-item" id="menu404" title="Love & Sex" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Love & Sex</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/love/dating-culture" id="menu403" title="Dating Culture" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Dating Culture</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/love/social-networking" id="menu405" title="Social Networking" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Social Networking</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/love/sir-realist" class=" last-item" id="menu655" title="Sir Realist - For Her By Him" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Sir Realist - For Her By Him</span></a></li></ul></li><li class="havechild" style="line-height: 160%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; float: left; display: block; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/family" class="menu-item6" id="menu196" title="Family" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: block; text-decoration: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 13px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; font-size: 100%; text-transform: uppercase; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/blue-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 100% 8px; "><span class="menu-title">FAMILY</span></a><ul style="list-style-type: none; list-style-position: initial; list-style-image: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; position: absolute; z-index: 100000; left: -999em; height: auto; width: 11em; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-right-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-bottom-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-left-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-top-width: 5px; border-top-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); opacity: 0.9; background-position: initial initial; "><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-pink.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/family/pregnancy" class=" first-item" id="menu407" title="Pregnancy" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Pregnancy</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-pink.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/family/parenting" id="menu406" title="Parenting" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Parenting</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-pink.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/family/family-life" class=" last-item" id="menu656" title="Family Life" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Family Life</span></a></li></ul></li><li class="havechild" style="line-height: 160%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; float: left; display: block; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/career" class="menu-item7" id="menu191" title="Career" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: block; text-decoration: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 13px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; font-size: 100%; text-transform: uppercase; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/blue-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 100% 8px; "><span class="menu-title">CAREER</span></a><ul style="list-style-type: none; list-style-position: initial; list-style-image: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; position: absolute; z-index: 100000; left: -999em; height: auto; width: 11em; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-right-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-bottom-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-left-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-top-width: 5px; border-top-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); opacity: 0.9; background-position: initial initial; "><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-green.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/career/dream-jobs" class=" first-item" id="menu677" title="Dream Jobs" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Dream Jobs</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-green.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/career/empowerment" id="menu678" title="Empowerment" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Empowerment</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-green.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/career/entrepreneurship" id="menu408" title="Entrepreneurship" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Entrepreneurship</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-green.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/career/corporate-coping" id="menu410" title="Corporate Coping" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Corporate Coping</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-green.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/career/mentor-profiles" class=" last-item" id="menu409" title="Mentor Profiles" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Mentor Profiles</span></a></li></ul></li><li class="havechild" style="line-height: 160%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; float: left; display: block; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/wellness" class="menu-item8" id="menu200" title="Wellness" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: block; text-decoration: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 13px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; font-size: 100%; text-transform: uppercase; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/blue-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 100% 8px; "><span class="menu-title">WELLNESS</span></a><ul style="list-style-type: none; list-style-position: initial; list-style-image: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; position: absolute; z-index: 100000; left: -999em; height: auto; width: 11em; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-right-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-bottom-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-left-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-top-width: 5px; border-top-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); opacity: 0.9; background-position: initial initial; "><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-blue.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/wellness/fitness-and-nutrition" class=" first-item" id="menu683" title="Fitness & Nutrition" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Fitness & Nutrition</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-blue.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/wellness/health-and-well-being" id="menu684" title="Health & Well-Being" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Health & Well-Being</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-blue.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/wellness/top-wellness-products" id="menu685" title="Top Wellness Products" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Top Wellness Products</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-blue.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/wellness/calorie-counter" id="menu686" title="Calorie Counter" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Calorie Counter</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-blue.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/wellness/bmi-calculator-calculate-your-bodys-ideal-bmi" id="menu425" title="BMI Calculator" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">BMI Calculator</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-blue.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/wellness/heart-rate-calculator" id="menu426" title="Heart Rate Calculator" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Heart Rate Calculator</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator-blue.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/wellness/calorie-counter" class=" last-item" id="menu450" title="Calorie Counter" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Calorie Counter</span></a></li></ul></li><li class="havechild" style="line-height: 160%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; float: left; display: block; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/bridal" class="menu-item9" id="menu190" title="Bridal" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: block; text-decoration: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 13px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; font-size: 100%; text-transform: uppercase; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/blue-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 100% 8px; "><span class="menu-title">BRIDAL</span></a><ul style="list-style-type: none; list-style-position: initial; list-style-image: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; position: absolute; z-index: 100000; left: -999em; height: auto; width: 11em; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-right-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-bottom-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-left-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-top-width: 5px; border-top-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); opacity: 0.9; background-position: initial initial; "><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/bridal/wedding-planning" class=" first-item" id="menu412" title="Wedding Planning" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Wedding Planning</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/bridal/bridal-fashion" id="menu679" title="Bridal Fashion" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Bridal Fashion</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/bridal/unique-venues" id="menu414" title="Unique Venues" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Unique Venues</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/bridal/top-caterers" id="menu413" title="Top Caterers" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Top Caterers</span></a></li><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 10em; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: none; border-right-width: initial; border-right-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/main-nav-separator.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 10px 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/bridal/hot-honeymoon" class=" last-item" id="menu411" title="Hot Honeymoon" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; width: 10em; display: block; text-decoration: none; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; border-top-style: none !important; border-right-style: none !important; border-bottom-style: none !important; border-left-style: none !important; border-width: initial !important; border-color: initial !important; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; line-height: normal; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-weight: normal; font-size: 92%; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; text-transform: none; background-position: initial initial; "><span class="menu-title">Hot Honeymoon</span></a></li></ul></li><li class="havechild" style="line-height: 160%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; float: left; display: block; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/green" class="menu-item10" id="menu192" title="Green" style="outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: block; text-decoration: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 13px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; font-size: 100%; text-transform: uppercase; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/blue-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 100% 8px; "><span class="menu-title">GREEN</span></a><ul style="list-style-type: none; list-style-position: initial; list-style-image: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; position: absolute; z-index: 100000; left: -999em; height: auto; width: 11em; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-right-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-bottom-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-left-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); border-top-width: 5px; border-top-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); opacity: 0.9; background-position: initial initial; "><li style="line-height: 160%; float: left; display: block; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; padding-top: 0px; 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background-position: 65% 0px; "><div id="ja-container-inner" class="clearfix" style="font-size: 100%; "><div id="ja-content" style="font-size: 100%; clear: both; display: block; float: left; width: 65%; "><div class="ja-innerpad clearfix" style="font-size: 100%; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><div id="ja-pathway" style="font-size: 92%; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 2px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 2px; "></div><div id="ja-current-content-568" style="font-size: 100%; "><h1 style="line-height: 1.1; font-size: 225%; font-weight: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">Book Review</h1><div class="article-tools clearfix" style="font-size: 100%; display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; width: 100%; clear: both; color: rgb(171, 171, 171); position: relative; "><div class="article-meta" style="font-size: 100%; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; width: 70%; float: left; text-transform: uppercase; "></div><div class="buttonheading" style="font-size: 100%; position: absolute; top: 0px; right: 0px; width: 62px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 3px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 3px; "><span><a href="http://www.woman.ca/component/mailto/?tmpl=component&link=aHR0cDovL3d3dy53b21hbi5jYS9ib29rcy8xMTg4LWFyZS15b3UtYnJhdmUtZW5vdWdoLXRvLWFzaw%3D%3D" title="E-mail" onclick="window.open(this.href,'win2','width=400,height=350,menubar=yes,resizable=yes'); return false;" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; "><img src="http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/emailButton.png" alt="E-mail" style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 5px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; float: right; " /></a></span></div></div><div class="article-content" style="font-size: 100%; "><br /><div class="ultimatesbplugin_top" style="font-size: 100%; float: right; text-align: center; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 10px; "></div><h3 style="line-height: 1.1; font-size: 150%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span></span><strong><span><span style="font-size:130%;">Why He Didn't Call You Back</span></span></strong></h3><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span><img src="http://www.woman.ca/images/stories/authors/joshua_feuer/why-he-didnt-call-you-back.jpg" alt="alt" align="left" style="padding-top: 2px; padding-right: 2px; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 2px; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-right-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-left-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; margin-top: 7px; margin-right: 7px; margin-bottom: 7px; margin-left: 7px; " /></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><strong><span></span></strong></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span>Take a B.A. in psychology from Wellesley College, mix it with an M.Ed. degree from Harvard Graduate School of Education and top it off with an M.B.A degree from Harvard Business School and you have <strong>Rachel Greenwald</strong>, author and Dating Coach.</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span>Rachel’s latest book, Why He Didn't Call You Back: 1,000 Guys Reveal What They Really Thought About You After Your Date, helps single women of all ages to understand what happened when their dating dynamics don’t land them the results they are hoping for. Rachel takes the million dollar question and applies a business strategy called "Exit Interviews," in order to get the answers women are waiting for.</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span>"O" - Oprah's Magazine - calls Rachel "my kind of gutsy girl: all the kick of cheddar-on-rye minus any trace of balogna.” She spent ten years interviewing over 1,000 men about why they didn’t call back after a date, why they showed initial interest in a woman at a bar or party but then didn't ask her out or why they vanished after exchanging flirtatious emails through an online dating site. Rachel shares the top ten “Date-Breakers” and practical tips to help women align their behavior with their relationship goals. Rachel goes even further to help ensure that women choose the men they truly want to date.</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span>Rachel’s book will be your secret bullet for dating success.</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span>By Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B., M.S.W, A.T.C</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span>Professional Coach</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><span><br /></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><a href="http://www.walkthetalkcoaching.com/" target="_blank" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; "><span>http://www.walkthetalkcoaching.com</span></a></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><a href="http://deborahmecklinger.blogspot.com/" target="_blank" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; "><span>http://deborahmecklinger.blogspot.com</span></a></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 14px; "><a href="http://twitter.com/elegantdeb" target="_blank" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; "><span>http://twitter.com/elegantdeb</span></a></p><div class="ultimatesbplugin_bottom" style="font-size: 100%; "><br /><hr style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-bottom-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-left-color: initial; border-right-width: 0px; border-right-color: initial; border-top-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: rgb(235, 235, 235); height: 0px; border-top-style: dotted; border-right-style: dotted; border-bottom-style: dotted; border-left-style: dotted; ">Add this page to your favorite social bookmarking websites<br /><a rel="nofollow" href="http://digg.com/" title="Digg!" target="_blank" onclick="window.open('http://digg.com/submit?url=http://www.woman.ca/books/1188-are-you-brave-enough-to-ask&title=Book Review&bodytext=Why He Didnt Call You Back: 1000 Guys Reveal What He Really Thought About You After Your Date is the book you cant live without if you hope to get a second date. 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border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom-color: initial; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: rgb(247, 247, 247); text-transform: uppercase; background-position: initial initial; ">GROUPS</a></li></ul><div class="jwts_tabbertab " title="" style="font-size: 100%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 6px; padding-right: 6px; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left: 6px; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-right-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-left-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-top-width: 0px; border-top-style: initial; border-top-color: initial; text-align: left; "><div style="font-size: 100%; "><div style="font-size: 100%; "><ul style="list-style-type: none; list-style-position: initial; list-style-image: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><li style="display: inline; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 3px; padding-bottom: 3px; line-height: 160%; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/bullet.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-left: 16px; background-position: 5px 8px; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/my-community/paigem/profile" title="Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; "><img width="32" src="http://www.woman.ca/images/avatar/thumb_8c9031bdb9db416306425d0f.jpg" alt="Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx" style="border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-right-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-left-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; " /></a></li><li style="display: inline; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 3px; padding-bottom: 3px; line-height: 160%; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/bullet.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-left: 16px; background-position: 5px 8px; "> <a href="http://www.woman.ca/my-community/andrewa/profile" title="Andrew Albert" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; "><img width="32" src="http://www.woman.ca/images/avatar/thumb_86f30b285431948c5f017803.jpg" alt="Andrew Albert" style="border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-right-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-left-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; " /></a></li><li style="display: inline; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 3px; padding-bottom: 3px; line-height: 160%; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/bullet.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-left: 16px; background-position: 5px 8px; "> <a href="http://www.woman.ca/my-community/carli%20mia/profile" title="carli mia" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; "><img width="32" src="http://www.woman.ca/images/avatar/thumb_7b8437b035d1671253c9c336.jpg" alt="carli mia" style="border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-right-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-left-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; " /></a></li><li style="display: inline; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 3px; padding-bottom: 3px; line-height: 160%; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/bullet.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-left: 16px; background-position: 5px 8px; "> <a href="http://www.woman.ca/my-community/k_squared/profile" title="Kendel" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; "><img width="32" src="http://www.woman.ca/images/avatar/thumb_6a94270dfd829f42aee61c81.jpg" alt="Kendel" style="border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-right-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-left-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; " /></a></li></ul></div><div style="font-size: 100%; ">4 user(s) and 260 guest(s) online | <a href="http://www.woman.ca/my-community/search/browse?sort=online" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; ">Show All</a></div><div style="clear: both; font-size: 100%; "></div></div></div></div><div class="jwts_clr" style="font-size: 100%; clear: both; height: 0px; line-height: 0; "></div></div><div class="moduletable" style="font-size: 100%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 1px; "><div style="display: table; width: 100%; font-size: 100%; "><table align="0" width="326" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-collapse: collapse; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><tbody><tr><td style="font-size: 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/component/adagency/adagencyAds/click/2/2/5" target="_self" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; "><img src="http://www.woman.ca//images/stories/ad_agency/2/horoscope.gif" border="0" alt="woman.ca" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; " /></a></td></tr></tbody></table></div></div></div></div><div id="ja-cols" class="clearfix" style="font-size: 100%; "><div id="ja-col1" style="font-size: 100%; float: left; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; width: 50%; clear: both; "><div class="ja-innerpad" style="font-size: 100%; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 8px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 10px; "><div class="moduletable" style="font-size: 100%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 1px; "><ul class="menu" style="list-style-type: none; list-style-position: initial; list-style-image: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><li class="item699" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/my-community" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>COMMUNITY</span></a></li><li class="item688" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/style" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>STYLE</span></a></li><li class="item701" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/entertainment/gossip" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>GOSSIP</span></a></li><li class="item692" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/living" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>LIVING</span></a></li><li class="item695" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/travel" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>TRAVEL</span></a></li><li class="item702" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/travel/destinations" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>DESTINATIONS</span></a></li><li class="item697" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/entertainment" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>ENTERTAINMENT</span></a></li><li class="item694" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/love" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>LOVE</span></a></li><li class="item707" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/love/dating-culture" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>DATING CULTURE</span></a></li><li class="item693" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/family" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>FAMILY</span></a></li><li class="item703" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/family/parenting" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>PARENTING</span></a></li><li class="item690" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/career" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>CAREER</span></a></li><li class="item696" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/wellness" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>WELLNESS</span></a></li><li class="item704" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/wellness/fitness-and-nutrition" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>FITNESS & NUTRITION</span></a></li><li class="item705" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/bridal/wedding-planning" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>WEDDING PLANNING</span></a></li><li class="item689" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/bridal" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>BRIDAL</span></a></li><li class="item691" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/green" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>GREEN</span></a></li><li class="item700" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/living/gadgets" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>GADGETS</span></a></li><li class="item706" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/living/home-and-design" style="text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); display: block; "><span>HOME & DESIGN</span></a></li></ul></div></div></div><div id="ja-col2" style="font-size: 100%; float: right; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; width: 49.9%; "><div class="moduletable" style="font-size: 100%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 1px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 1px; "><table align="center" style="border-collapse: collapse; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><tbody><tr><td style="font-size: 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/component/adagency/adagencyAds/click/3/3/60" target="_blank" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; "></a><a href="http://network-ca.247realmedia.com/RealMedia/ads/click_lx.ads/Woman.ca/Entertainment/L8/1449188058/x10/247Canada/AI-Woman-House-All/celebrity-gossip-skyscraper.jpg/7a416f62466b6d322b6a554141477737?x" target="_blank" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; "><img src="http://imagen03.247realmedia.com/RealMedia/ads/Creatives/247Canada/AI-Woman-House-All/celebrity-gossip-skyscraper.jpg/1241018421" alt="" border="0" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; " /></a></td></tr></tbody></table></div></div></div><div id="bottom-right" style="font-size: 100%; "><div class="ja-innerpad" style="font-size: 100%; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 10px; "></div></div></div><br /></div></div></div><div id="ja-banner" style="font-size: 100%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: auto; padding-top: 10px; width: 728px; height: 90px; "><table align="center"><tbody><tr><td style="font-size: 100%; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/component/adagency/adagencyAds/click/3/3/59" target="_blank" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; "><object classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" id="OAS_RMF_Top1_FLASH" width="728" height="90" align="" alt=""></object></a></td></tr></tbody></table></div><div id="ja-footerwrap" class="clearfix" style="font-size: 100%; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); clear: both; background-position: initial initial; "><div id="ja-footer" style="font-size: 92%; width: 970px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: auto; clear: both; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); position: relative; padding-top: 7px; padding-right: 7px; padding-bottom: 7px; padding-left: 7px; text-align: center; "><ul class="menu" style="list-style-type: none; list-style-position: initial; list-style-image: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: normal; text-align: center; "><li class="item244" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; display: inline; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/rss" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: inline; line-height: normal; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 8px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 12px; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/blue-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 0px 6px; "><span>RSS</span></a></li><li class="item245" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; display: inline; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/component/ijoomla_archive/?task=archive" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: inline; line-height: normal; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 8px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 12px; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/purple-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 0px 6px; "><span>Archive</span></a></li><li class="item246" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; display: inline; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/about" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: inline; line-height: normal; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 8px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 12px; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/pink-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 0px 6px; "><span>About</span></a></li><li class="item247" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; display: inline; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/contact-us" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: inline; line-height: normal; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 8px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 12px; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/green-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 0px 6px; "><span>Contact Us</span></a></li><li class="item248" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; display: inline; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/advertise-with-us" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: inline; line-height: normal; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 8px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 12px; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/blue-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 0px 6px; "><span>Advertise With Us</span></a></li><li class="item439" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; display: inline; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://woman.ca/index.php?option=com_magazine&func=author_list&Itemid=197" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: inline; line-height: normal; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 8px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 12px; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/purple-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 0px 6px; "><span>Contributors</span></a></li><li class="item446" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; display: inline; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/community" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: inline; line-height: normal; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 8px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 12px; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/pink-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 0px 6px; "><span>Community</span></a></li><li class="item454" style="line-height: 160%; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; display: inline; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; background-position: initial initial; "><a href="http://www.woman.ca/site-map" style="color: rgb(92, 71, 112); text-decoration: none; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; display: inline; line-height: normal; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 8px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 12px; background-image: url(http://www.woman.ca/templates/ja_teline_ii/images/green-ball.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: 0px 6px; "><span>Site Map</span></a></li></ul></div></div></div></div></span>Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-44165667521113335842009-05-03T20:19:00.000-07:002009-05-15T21:44:36.824-07:00A Mother's Notes on Facebook in the Family<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-nMEbxxRlM9-E-LS6DtkTQSNCzqi-MNJcWYijsxbLrZsOSGKSskIVsGgz_9cUUd6Hulien2zI2lfSO04v937ks2mwfU0WOOigMdsNrFeTlSoIHcv6BdEFZ0Uabkauvs0JGDtmRWINVvU/s1600-h/picture-204.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 250px; height: 282px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-nMEbxxRlM9-E-LS6DtkTQSNCzqi-MNJcWYijsxbLrZsOSGKSskIVsGgz_9cUUd6Hulien2zI2lfSO04v937ks2mwfU0WOOigMdsNrFeTlSoIHcv6BdEFZ0Uabkauvs0JGDtmRWINVvU/s320/picture-204.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336278067020719138" /></a><br /><div><br /><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><div><br /></div></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 265px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN6sRp0VlWmtu0uNphH-2HiLx2JLl0pILKfz2beiAC4-jI2mqEf27GZJmFhKD15JsSC7RfY-Qc_QF2hJ4jSLy5ubE28dJ19HEgRqRab3I0WLApVcJ1M17kqxI6lR88OjyEl7GkEBB5YE4/s400/Picture+1.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332116210478912066" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div>AS FIRST PUBLISHED ON WOMAN.CA</div><div><br /></div><div>A Mother's Notes on Facebook in The Family</div><div><br /></div><div>Of Course I'm Close to My Daughter, Just Not "Facebook Close"</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I thought I was an uber cool mom. Apparently not cool enough. My thirteen-year-old Divine Daughter refuses to "accept" my invitation to be her Facebook friend. I frankly, can't believe that "friending" me is the equivalent of social suicide.</div><div><br /></div><div>The facts don't seem to measure up. When it comes to clothes, my closet is her closet. If I own it Divine Daughter has to wear it. From Current Elliot to Converse, from American Apparel to Free City - I am in the know. As for Facebook Friend - it is a no go.</div><div><br /></div><div>Divine Daughter picks my brain for the hippest hairdo, the latest book recommendation and the hottest trends - but when it comes to my plea to friend me on Facebook - the relationship is a dead end.</div><div><br /></div><div>I thought things might take a turn for the Facebook best when 2 boys she knows invited me to be their friend. I texted her to share the good news. To this she replied, "Don't you dare write on their wall - it is too weird." </div><div><br /></div><div>When Divine Daughter made it clear that in her social circles my name would be a blight on her cyber life, I got creative. I tried to entice her with my celebrity connections. Upon sharing famous Facebook friends, Divine Daughter informed me that they were probably all imposters. With a huff and a puff, I received yet another Facebook rebuff.</div><div><br /></div><div>So here is the bottom line. Divine Daughter is more evolved than Facebook Mama. At 13, her boundaries are clear and strong. Divine Daughter knows where she stops and I begin and she is comfortable letting me know when I am encroaching on her turf. Divine Daughter has boundaries and makes them known.</div><div><br /></div><div>All along, Divine Daughter did say that if it were really important to me, she would add me as a friend. I didn't want to be the guest by way of guilt. Now, while we joke about it regularly, we are both comfortable knowing that we live our life together face to face and share two different worlds in cyber space. </div><div><br /></div><div>By Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B., M.S.W, A.T.C</div><div><br /></div><div>walkthetalkcoaching.com</div><div><br /></div><div>deborahmecklingermecklinger.com</div><div><br /></div><div> </div>Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-79843621357236452052009-05-03T19:47:00.000-07:002009-05-06T16:50:05.694-07:00Is Your Partner a Career Supporter or Saboteur?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm6Ugk7KceRJkExtqiXQmiVG5h-TrAMfkUCIwvss1cqi54HUX_nuR5q5wUQSRpq3Uj9_NOrwQ7HTtcDbUcGWupNaoKCGsqffcYhdLj2Liyd60qxI-1aCHWJ4TrmXzKC7eeEq_S3QGcpPg/s1600-h/images-4.jpeg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 130px; height: 130px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm6Ugk7KceRJkExtqiXQmiVG5h-TrAMfkUCIwvss1cqi54HUX_nuR5q5wUQSRpq3Uj9_NOrwQ7HTtcDbUcGWupNaoKCGsqffcYhdLj2Liyd60qxI-1aCHWJ4TrmXzKC7eeEq_S3QGcpPg/s400/images-4.jpeg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331798473673537298" /></a><br /><br /><div>AS FIRST PUBLISHED ON WOMAN.CA</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Is Your Partner a Career Supporter or Saboteur?</div><div>E-mail</div><div><br /></div><div>His Actions Speak Louder than Words</div><div><br /></div><div>Does your partner tell you he supports your career but behaves like your work is in his way? Does your significant other say he’s your number one cheerleader but fails to applaud when you need to postpone a date to work late? Does bringing work home leave your partner feeling dethroned? If you are wondering whether your man is truly your career fan consider the following:</div><div><br /></div><div>1. Flexibility Factor: Does you partner graciously accommodate your work commitments or is the juggle always a struggle?</div><div><br /></div><div>2. Meals On Wheels: Are you flying in your heels to serve your partner a meal or does he kindly tell you he ate and that your dinner is waiting on a plate?</div><div><br /></div><div>3. Phone Respect: Do your business calls garner the space and grace of your partner when they happen in the home?</div><div><br /></div><div>4. Trading Places: Is your relationship rigid or malleable? Is your partner able to take over at home when he is left alone?</div><div><br /></div><div>5. The Elegant Accessory: Is your man a gracious guest at your work functions where you need to be at your best?</div><div><br /></div><div>6. Air Time: Are both of your careers the subject of conversation or does your channel get changed when you walk in the door?</div><div><br /></div><div>7. Economies of Male: Does your career take second place because he makes more money than you do?</div><div><br /></div><div>8. Bite The Hand That Breeds For You: Does your partner diminish the importance of your career because you have either taken time off to have children or to raise them?</div><div><br /></div><div>9. “Ya But” Syndrome: Does your partner profess to support you but when it comes time to accommodate your work you are subject to: “Ya But and a myriad of reasons why the request cannot be met.</div><div><br /></div><div>10. CEO Status: Is your partner the Chief Executive Officer of the relationship’s career trajectory or is there room for 2 Managing Directors?</div><div><br /></div><div>If you hope to move forward and get to the top of your game, without your partner’s support it won’t be the same. Take an honest look at what you need to maximize success and don’t settle for a relationship that leaves you with a career that’s second best.</div><div><br /></div><div>By Deborah Mecklinger</div><div><br /></div><div>www.walkthetalkcoaching.com</div><div><br /></div><div>deborahmecklinger.blogspot.com</div><div><br /></div><div> </div>Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-61624001325629011752009-05-03T19:35:00.000-07:002009-05-03T19:45:04.754-07:00The Blackberry: The Great Cheating "Enabler" Of Our Age?<div>AS FIRST PUBLISHED ON WOMAN.CA<br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis_KYCTsaxgDWEonMwisxXZC9qd3M0v13mOn6RheKwEoVGv-LG4w2CdmuU8kvva4xuUtjh2fZ7d3cZLEhIjnDy6urU-5rXTO0eSxCBEcwec1pLvtAln9WghpPkglqhAm8130ZRh7cr24Y/s1600-h/images-3.jpeg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 125px; height: 113px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis_KYCTsaxgDWEonMwisxXZC9qd3M0v13mOn6RheKwEoVGv-LG4w2CdmuU8kvva4xuUtjh2fZ7d3cZLEhIjnDy6urU-5rXTO0eSxCBEcwec1pLvtAln9WghpPkglqhAm8130ZRh7cr24Y/s400/images-3.jpeg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331792987935460178" /></a><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Unlocking Your "Berry" is the New Trust Exercise</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>alt From Blackberry Forums:</div><div>opelikaboy Offline</div><div><br /></div><div>New Member</div><div><br /></div><div>Posts: 1 Join Date: Oct 2006</div><div><br /></div><div>Model: 7100T</div><div><br /></div><div>Help with Cheating Wife - </div><div><br /></div><div>I know my wife is cheating. She keeps her Blackberry locked and I want to see what’s going on her device. Is there any way to get into the thing?</div><div><br /></div><div> </div><div><br /></div><div>Our WOMAN.ca Expert's Take:</div><div><br /></div><div>Does your spouse’s relationship with his or her Blackberry lead you to believe they are having an affair? Do you lay awake wondering why your partner’s Blackberry is locked and password protected from you? Perhaps you have asked and even begged your partner to let you in to their little Blackberry book and they have adamantly refused. If this is the case and the feelings you are left with leave you suspecting someone else is taking up space, you are not alone.</div><div><br /></div><div>The advent of technology has changed the nature of an affair. The cheating spouse may still have to figure out how to steal time away from their marriage, but they can now stay in touch even when they are in the house. Spouses no longer have to slither out of the room pretending their client is on the phone. Instead, they can simply reach for their Blackberry and send an SMS, Text, Email or PIN to their lover. It is just that easy. You can be in bed with your spouse and they may never know you are a louse while you text between the sheets. Technology has made it possible to have threesome without the consent of two of the parties. How is that for efficiency?</div><div><br /></div><div> </div><div><br /></div><div>If you are interested in tools and tips that will help you get clearer about the odor you sniff, stay tuned for the follow-up article entitled: </div><div><br /></div><div>Blackberry Storm Blows Down Cheating Spouse: “What To Do If You Want To Know The Truth”</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>By Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W, A.T.C</div><div><br /></div><div>www.walkthetalkcoaching.com</div><div><br /></div><div>www.deborahmecklinger.blogspot.com</div><div><br /></div><div>twitter: elegantdeb </div>Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-45866467229935686442009-05-01T20:35:00.000-07:002009-05-01T20:49:50.159-07:00Beware Of The Bitter Twitters<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil9WEYTscltD63qxQLAn4hPnZ3XA7TCcpnx6aJubDzdGpcGr5BJW59O08AweEt7W_xNz4LggnzQXE25GYNGjIFnsyyaTFiYwS0-pMdA1gmBIq9M4yo50LeJdWW5Nrsl1HXO0HkbuwCVks/s1600-h/images-1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 135px; height: 72px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil9WEYTscltD63qxQLAn4hPnZ3XA7TCcpnx6aJubDzdGpcGr5BJW59O08AweEt7W_xNz4LggnzQXE25GYNGjIFnsyyaTFiYwS0-pMdA1gmBIq9M4yo50LeJdWW5Nrsl1HXO0HkbuwCVks/s400/images-1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331068760096958978" /></a><br /><br /><div>AS FIRST PUBLISHED ON DIVORCESALOON.COM</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>GUEST ARTICLE How to handle post-divorce tweeting: Beware Of the Bitter Twitters, by Deb Mecklinger</div><div><br /></div><div>Author admin </div><div>Filed under Divorce Advice (How to), Guest Articles</div><div><br /></div><div>Leave a comment</div><div><br /></div><div>Our distinguished guest Deborah Mecklinger writes about the bitter twitter of Divorce…Please leave comments for our guest articles. Thank you.</div><div><br /></div><div> </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>On March 2, 2009 Greg Rewis asked Stephanie Sullivan for her hand in marriage via Twitter. The twitter-world was witness to Stephanie’s acceptance and the instant on-line buzz of their impending nuptials. It took only two status updates for the social-networking geeks to agree to spend the rest of their lives together. How many characters will it take for a tweet to buzz that a spouse is no longer in love?</div><div><br /></div><div>If a Twitter micro-blog is long enough to propose marriage, are 140 characters or less sufficient to untie the knot? Will spouses soon be receiving notice that their marriage is over in the heat of a Tweet? Is ones’ decision to divorce a news item that is likely to be tweeted to a former lovebird instead of shared through conversation? Is what was once a private matter between spouses now news for mass consumption?</div><div><br /></div><div>As we move through life at the speed of lightening, will relationships be at risk of ending even more quickly, impersonally and more publicly with the click of a twit? Is interplay of speed and reach-ability likely to leave lovers in the lurch?</div><div><br /></div><div>As we witness the groundbreaking evolution of technology growing faster than we can tweet, the opportunity to misuse and abuse digital communication is seductive. If part of Twitter’s magic is that it connects the masses online, remember that matters of the heart are often best-shared offline. When it comes to the dissolution of a marriage and cutting the bonds of matrimony, spouses are advised to steer clear of Twitter to avoid being bitter. Don’t dare to Tweet what you should speak. Use the following tips to maintain grace, save face and keep your divorce out of cyberspace. When it comes to divorce, DO NOT use Twitter to:</div><div><br /></div><div> </div><div><br /></div><div>1 Break News: Don’t break your story with a Tweet. Instead, speak.</div><div><br /></div><div>2 Spread News: Be discreet and keep your story in house. This is not the time to build an audience or extend your audience.</div><div><br /></div><div>3 Find followers: Don’t use social networking to support your position.</div><div><br /></div><div>4 Gather Information: Don’t conduct public opinion polls about your soon-to-be-ex-spouse.</div><div><br /></div><div>5 Speed-link: Don’t use Twitter to enter your Ex’s world or infringe on his/her boundaries, friendships or connections.</div><div><br /></div><div>6 Vent: Don’t be a twit and share your snit or have a twit-fit about your Ex.</div><div><br /></div><div>7 Build Your Brand: Create your newfound image off-line. Don’t be a hitter via Twitter in the midst of divorce. Be elegant and develop your new psyche and persona out of the public domain.</div><div><br /></div><div>8 Follow a Twitter Divorce Leader: If your ex-spouse is tweeting about you, don’t be a Twitter Copycat.</div><div><br /></div><div>9 Set The Record Straight: A single tweet will live forever. Watch it show up in affidavits, court documents and in the hands of friends, family, co-workers, children and the world at large.</div><div><br /></div><div>10 Noise making: Don’t get sidetracked by Twitter chaos. In the midst of divorce the multitude of messages can be confusing and overwhelming. Keep it simple and stay focused. Leave Twitter for later.</div><div><br /></div><div> When it comes to conversation, promotion, and networking, Twitter is King. When it comes to Divorce, discretion, respect and privacy are fighting to reign supreme. While Twitter is fun, engaging and quickly replacing daily conversation, divorce is a process that requires mindfulness and intentionality when communicating and sharing. The temptation to use Twitter in ways that may result in unwanted consequences is particularly seductive for the separating spouse whose self-management skills may be compromised by the divorce process. To ward off the opportunity to Tweet down the wrong street, put Twitter on hold until your Divorce process folds. </div><div><br /></div><div> </div><div><br /></div><div>Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B., M.S.W., A.T.C.</div><div><br /></div><div>Divorce Coach</div><div><br /></div><div>www.walkthetalkcoaching.com</div><div><br /></div><div> </div><div><br /></div><div> </div>Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-45616803032189723252009-04-19T22:14:00.000-07:002009-04-19T22:21:49.349-07:00Can You Say No?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUqPH9sYXV7RkHRkuzXEYJJ3gUK0l5HgyxTRlc0tvDsI70TtDK3esr8mLaEbR7jupID1zygQMRovXW28FSwKRfAb2Q-EjjpfSl0IQyLFnjFAzAGacSKvxAgjB3z3mTdkgyBF_atT1xbIc/s1600-h/images.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 92px; height: 138px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUqPH9sYXV7RkHRkuzXEYJJ3gUK0l5HgyxTRlc0tvDsI70TtDK3esr8mLaEbR7jupID1zygQMRovXW28FSwKRfAb2Q-EjjpfSl0IQyLFnjFAzAGacSKvxAgjB3z3mTdkgyBF_atT1xbIc/s400/images.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5326639294801638146" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:11.0pt;line-height:16.0pt;mso-pagination: none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;font-size:11.0pt;">Is it time to say “Yes” to “No”? How often do you take on too much at home? At work? Accommodating others? Giving in? It’s time you did what you wanted for a change without automatically feeling guilty about not saying yes. Here are some tips to help you go from “Yes” to “No” once in a while.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:11.0pt;line-height:16.0pt;mso-pagination: none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;font-size:11.0pt;">1. Practice saying “No.” </span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;font-size:11.0pt;">Use the mirror and a tape recorder, or role-play with a friend. A rehearsal will help you develop your skills – and your courage. <b>2. Be prepared. </b>Develop a series of stock answers you can pull out of your bag. The next time you’re about to say “Yes” but really want to say “No,” reach into your bag for a response that fits – like, “I’m sorry I have a family commitment that day.” Eventually, you’ll be a pro with or without the crib note. <b>3. Start small.</b> You do not have to say “No” to everything! Whether it’s saying “No” to shoes in your home, picking up the dry cleaning or taking on another client, a little “No” can go a long way. If saying “No” to family or friends feels overwhelming, start with a telemarketer.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;font-size:11.0pt;">Saying “Yes" can be like dining at a buffet with too many choices. Instead of filling your plate, be selective and go a la carte. Exercise your right to say “Yes” to “No”! <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;font-size:11.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;font-size:11.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Deborah L. Mecklinger, LL.B., M.S.W., A.T.C.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Verdana;font-size:15px;">For more information visit www.walkthetalkcoaching.com</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Verdana;font-size:15px;"><br /></span></p>Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-53299277339722327122009-04-18T15:32:00.000-07:002009-04-18T20:57:01.450-07:00AS FIRST PUBLISHED ON PREMIERE DIVORCE BLOG DIVORCESALOON.COM Braveheart or Brokenheart: An Elegant Approach For Mel and Robyn Gibson<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEb_Ag8raYnxLUTdaoF9WRj4boP5DpNrA_-0lJMvLhKI1SUNq72gegr54dMc_4PcVSSBZXSfirEgOa0fAJipmrxpRWVr3p-F4XqXBUAhfEEHZXe_mfNw416DGhXe0ptVADqxa-QeLkhtg/s1600-h/3857_heading.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 375px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEb_Ag8raYnxLUTdaoF9WRj4boP5DpNrA_-0lJMvLhKI1SUNq72gegr54dMc_4PcVSSBZXSfirEgOa0fAJipmrxpRWVr3p-F4XqXBUAhfEEHZXe_mfNw416DGhXe0ptVADqxa-QeLkhtg/s400/3857_heading.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5326166012282963714" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 18px; font-family:Arial;font-size:13px;"><h1 style="color: rgb(73, 93, 92); font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 10px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><br /></h1><h1 style="color: rgb(73, 93, 92); font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 10px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><a href="http://www.divorcesaloon.com/braveheart-or-brokenheart-aguest-writer-elegant-approach-for-mel-and-robyn-gibson" rel="bookmark" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(73, 93, 92); font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 10px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">GUEST ARTICLE: Braveheart or Brokenheart: Elegant Approach for Mel and Robyn Gibson.</a></h1><div class="date" style="width: 590px; float: left; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><div class="dateleft" style="width: 350px; float: left; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="time" style="background-image: url(http://www.divorcesaloon.com/wp-content/themes/lifestyle_10/images/icon_time.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 3px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 20px; background-position: 0% 0%; ">April 17, 2009</span> by <a href="http://www.divorcesaloon.com/author/admin/" title="Posts by admin" style="color: rgb(122, 50, 84); text-decoration: none; ">admin</a> <br />Filed under <a href="http://www.divorcesaloon.com/category/guest-articles" title="View all posts in Guest Articles" rel="category tag" style="color: rgb(122, 50, 84); text-decoration: none; ">Guest Articles</a></p></div><div class="dateright" style="width: 200px; float: right; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; text-align: right; "><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="comment" style="background-image: url(http://www.divorcesaloon.com/wp-content/themes/lifestyle_10/images/icon_comments.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 18px; background-position: 0% 0%; "><a href="http://www.divorcesaloon.com/braveheart-or-brokenheart-aguest-writer-elegant-approach-for-mel-and-robyn-gibson#respond" title="Comment on GUEST ARTICLE: Braveheart or Brokenheart: Elegant Approach for Mel and Robyn Gibson." style="color: rgb(122, 50, 84); text-decoration: none; ">Leave a Comment</a></span></p></div></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:small;"> <strong>Divorce Saloon Welcomes and thanks Deborah Mecklinger for her contribution:</strong></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:small;">If this isn’t a case of art imitating life, than what is? Mel Gibson may not be an expert in WHAT WOMEN WANT but there is no question that he will be the leading man in PAYBACK. From the Year Of Living Dangerously, Chicken on The Run, Lethal Weapon, Forever Young and Braveheart – Mel has been flying through life and his career with the Passion of Christ. Is there anything to indicate just how Mel and Robyn Gibson will co-direct their divorce?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:small;">My hunch is that after 28 years of marriage, 7 children: Thomas, 10, Milo 19, Louis 21, William 24, twins Edward and Christian 29 and Hannah, 28 and fortunes nearing a billion dollars, Mel and Robyn will do everything in their power to facilitate an ELEGANT DIVORCE. Rumor has it that both are committed to resolving their issues respectfully and expeditiously.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:small;">Perhaps Mel Gibson’s notorious roadside episode in 2006 where he was drunk, belligerent and uttered anti-Semitic remarks taught him a lesson that he will take on his divorce journey. Mel Gibson’s road rage, the media implosion it brought on and Mel’s ensuing “look in the mirror” had a seismic effect on his life, career and sense of self. Gibson said that incident forever changed him and “saved him from himself.”</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:small;">Gibson toxicity, venom and addictions resulted in the actor being called to task in the public realm where he ultimately, apologized, acknowledged his “out-of-control” behavior and told the world that he was “deeply ashamed”. This was the beginning of Gibson’s sensitivity training and a real life lesson on the impact and effects of INELEGANT behavior and its consequences. This cannot be a roadside divorce demolition. Apologies won’t do undue the damage of a roadside divorce debacle You get one shot at doing the divorce right. The memories are indelibly etched in the children’s minds.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style=" ;font-size:small;"><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';">In order to ensure the health, wellbeing, and best interest of 10 year-old Thomas Gibson, and his siblings, it is critical that Mel and Robyn handle their divorce with grace and sensitivity. No doubt preserving Thomas’ time and relationship with both parents is paramount. Furthermore, the mental health of their “adult” children is best served by navigating their way through the divorce process with a sophisticated legal team that will support a respectful process and a fair and expeditious resolution. <span> </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:small;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:small;">Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B., M.S.W., A.T.C.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; "><a href="http://www.walkthatalkcoaching.com/" style="color: rgb(122, 50, 84); text-decoration: none; "><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:small;">www.walkthatalkcoaching.com</span></a></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:small;">416.544.8001</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:small;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:small;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:small;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; "><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:small;"> </span></p></span>Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-54272259784040663932009-04-01T15:03:00.000-07:002009-04-08T21:16:06.874-07:00Help: My Marriage Is Sliding From Recession To Depression<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl1hzfkLDT2ioyu6VusbsbNAsHGfB_78L7r23wrxANVTpfvTDbtQInF2TBv4ocMhmmIkOUOdIMhEAEWUsNul-C64agv7t89EV8w7ondssGANnKSfBGlCuZatsH6moX9NdRgHBqr1j3kd0/s1600-h/everythingsdown.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 263px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl1hzfkLDT2ioyu6VusbsbNAsHGfB_78L7r23wrxANVTpfvTDbtQInF2TBv4ocMhmmIkOUOdIMhEAEWUsNul-C64agv7t89EV8w7ondssGANnKSfBGlCuZatsH6moX9NdRgHBqr1j3kd0/s400/everythingsdown.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5320291116976482978" border="0" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br />Is the economic padding in your marriage no longer a cushion you can count on? Is the current economic climate a barometer for the temperature of your marriage? Is your dwindling bank account affecting the balance in your emotional depository? If your marriage is starting to feel like like an investment with low or no returns, take stock of how the recession can further impact your relationship and affect your bottom line.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">As the economy declines, and stories of doom and gloom loom on the horizon, the emotional and practical stress on couples is unavoidable. Employment insecurity, job loss, pressure to perform, diminished resources, sinking stocks and slipping savings result in a marital albatross that many are struggling to carry. Moreover when a couple's preexisting issues are combined with the hefty weight of financial strain, it becomes even more challenging for spouses to figure out where to begin in order to move forward.<br /><br />For spouses that have a history of communication issues, the hot topic of money is even scarier when there is less of it. In a marriage where financial freedom was a factor in keeping the disconnected together, limited resources might inhibit their ability to indulge in things like independent vacations, separate dinners out with friends and maybe even time alone at a cottage or on boat. Less disposable income, the sale of assets and longer hours at work can limit the availability of distractions that may have helped to stabilize the already shaky marriage. As for the spouse in the house who is out of a job, this too, often serves to add further strain on the relationship tight rope from which the couple was already hanging.<br /><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">To add insult to injury, couples are bombarded with experts telling them that they can "Recession-Proof" their marriage. Such suggestions are akin to telling home-owners that they can "Burglar-Proof" their house and keep the most determined intruder out. The recession like the thief, doesn't knock, ring the bell, or "scare off" easily. Moreover, locks, alarms, buzzers, and even guard dogs cannot keep the prowler from coming through the door. In spite of your best efforts to protect yourself, be prepared to manage the chaos and consequences of an economic storm that beats your door down like a thief in the night.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br />Spouses are being advised by relationship experts that they can "Recession-Proof" their marriage in some of the following ways simple ways:<br /><br /></span><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Cook together: For husbands and wives who can barely make it through a meal, the ideal of preparing it might not be a recipe for success.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> Go on a date night: Does one really need to pay a therapist when money is tight, to be told that making an effort to go out together is important? Save the fees and buy the book. Date night recommendations will be in the first chapter!<br /></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> Have sex. It is cheap and in the budget: If sex and money are intricately connected, it is no coincidence that the bed and the head may now be disconnected. In addition, for anyone feeling impotent in their lives, the pressure to perform may be filled with unbearable anxiety. In particular, for anyone who has lost a job, low self-esteem can be found between the sheets. Be sensitive and patient.<br /></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Go for walks together, save on gas and enjoy the outdoors: If conflict is at an all time high and the walks turn out to be more of the same - do the opposite. Walk your dog, stroll with a friend or go it alone. You will come back refreshed and better equipped to face your day. </span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">See a couple's therapist: While it is not uncommon to recommend seeing a therapist together to make headway, perhaps a visit with a different kind of "professional helper" is better suited to the Recession Rescue Menu. For example, a Mediator may be in order to facilitate conflict resolution and help you reach mutual agreements regarding your finances. </span></li></ul><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">While the aforementioned recommendations may work for some, others may find they only serve to exacerbate the stress they already experience. This is not to say that getting back to the basics and enjoying the little things in life together is not a wonderful thing. In fact couples who can connect in that way are at the top of their game. Unfortunately, for those that are truly stressed and in a mess, the "little things" might just not cut it. If the recession is pulling you and your spouse further apart consider the following additional tips to help you manage the damage and avert depression.<br /></span><ol><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Leave the money on the floor outside the bedroom door. Don't talk about financial issues in the bedroom. While it will not ensure sex, it will guarantee a greater likelihood of a better sleep.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Share space not conversation. Spend time in the same room. Read, listen to music, get on your computer, play a game or watch TV. Take a break from talking about money and the issues at hand.<br /></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Pick a regular time to discuss financial issues: This will eliminate the worry that the topic is ongoing and never-ending. Schedule "conversation time" on a weekly or monthly basis to discuss the finances and stick to it.<br /></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Call a friend. The secret to every stressful marriage is a good friend. </span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Filter: Use your best judgement and filter the topic before you raise it. Is your issue something that needs to be shared or is it a release of your financial anxiety only to be dumped and now the burden of your partner? If the answer is YES - get a journal and spare your spouse. What goes around comes around and the financial worry-go-round can be never-ending.<br /></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Get Educated: Be informed and understand the real financial deal in your life. Don't live on the financial myths of your marriage.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Ask An Advisor: Attend meetings with accountants, financial advisors, brokers and/or bankers together to avoid miscommunication. </span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Skip the news at night. Go to bed with an empty head. Everything is more upsetting and anxiety provoking at night. The headlines will be there for you in the morning. If your spouse insists on watching, listening or stressing - disengage and leave the room.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Exercise more. The release of endorphins will help you cope. This in turn will make you a calmer spouse. Life will begin to look brighter. You may find the cup half full. The laws of attraction will take effect and the cycle will evolve and you will feel the future beginning to look brighter.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> Look in the mirror more and pay attention to what you see. Wash your forlorn face. Walking around looking dejected, miserable and with a sour or dour face will ensure that you get back what you put out. Be aware of your energy, your presence and your demeanor and begin to smile. If it does not feel authentic, fake it. Your academy award winning performance may rub off on your marriage and you may find that before you know it, you actually feel happier.</span></li></ol><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Developing an economic partnership, communication, compromise, respect, reinventing and redistributing roles, sharing and caring are only some of the issues that need to be addressed by couples dealing with the consequences of the recession. As you ride out the economic storm remember that you cannot keep the recession out of your marriage or prevent it from impacting your relationship. So confront the issues head on and don't be afraid to open the door because it's coming inside even if you try to ignore. The really good news is that marriage is like the economy - it has cycles that come and go. Ride this one out and stay in the know. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">For more information visit www.walkthetalkcoaching.com </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div></div></div>Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-53081939856353262792009-03-29T19:01:00.000-07:002009-03-31T21:26:22.625-07:00Stuck In The House With Ex-Spouse: Tools and Rules To Help You Survive<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3RsSLYQiaXIlRCYdDqXsqErfsqLbICdZFvgXGxYBY6O0UV62YR0yQ5dWfuMc-wvXXvWtAq5Jfxe6iZviVCryUsItqWBBVfua5bh3PO39nQXGb-IwO-QJkOlbrwcDse-I3WDdKHEbGHU4/s1600-h/divided+house-1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3RsSLYQiaXIlRCYdDqXsqErfsqLbICdZFvgXGxYBY6O0UV62YR0yQ5dWfuMc-wvXXvWtAq5Jfxe6iZviVCryUsItqWBBVfua5bh3PO39nQXGb-IwO-QJkOlbrwcDse-I3WDdKHEbGHU4/s400/divided+house-1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319566489815746770" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">When divorce is on the horizon how can you co-exist in a house with your soon to be ex-spouse? Is it possible to live separate and apart under one roof without raising it? Once the marriage is declared "over" there may be a period of time that leaves the separated sharing space when they are low on relationship grace. While there are separating spouses that decide to share the matrimonial home for an agreed upon period of time, others find themselves in the same predicament for different reasons. Financial limitations, unresolved legal issues, power struggles and difficulty selling the home result in many former life-partners co-existing under one roof involuntarily.<br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">In these particularly challenging economic times, with the matrimonial home often being the couple's largest asset, slow sales, soft markets and a lack of palatable alternatives may result in "mom's room, dad's room" carrying on for longer than intended. Navigating your way around home base when you no longer want to see your Ex's face is not for the faint of heart. Allocating your time, your boundaries, and your feelings in a way that leaves your sanity in tact and keeps your children from falling through the cracks requires two committed people.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> If you find yourself dividing your heart along with your home, develop a plan to help you share in a way that is fair. Be intentional, mindful and strategic and consider the following tools and rules to help you handle this overwhelming difficult time.<br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><ol><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Beware: LAND MINE AHEAD. Shake hands with reality and be realistic as to the challenges that lay in the fore. Living separate and apart under one roof can be unpredictable, arduous and volatile. Do not pass go without a plan.</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Build boundaries. Create separate space especially for the most intimate parts of your day: sleeping, private time in bathrooms and a safe place for your personal belongings that is accessible at all times. Designating and adhering to an agreed upon division of hours and space, taking turns, respecting privacy, and using self-restraint are necessary behaviors. A rule of thumb: Never walk into the other person's territory without express permission. When in doubt, find a new route.</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Play the part of Casper the friendly ghost. Develop a temporary schedule that clarifies specific days and times that each parent is in charge and the other is "off duty." The parent in charge is the "go to" parent and the other parent makes themselves scarce. This serves to minimize opportunities for conflict. Note, that this only works if the "off-duty parent" is invisible at best and outside the scope of parenting radar at worst. </span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Be your own domestic god/ess. Do your own laundry and prepare your own food. This will eliminate resentment. If your arrangement involves doing things for one and other discuss the details, create a written agreement and review it weekly or monthly to ensure that it is working for both parties. </span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Those that no longer sleep together should discuss whether they want to eat together. It may be time to create a new interim meal time tradition. </span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">If you use it, loose it. Clean up after yourself and put your own things away. Leaving behind soiled dishes, a trail of laundry or garbage for your house mate to deal with is dirty play.</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Replace with grace. If you empty the fridge, the gas tank, the toothpaste tube, the kleenex box or anything else that was once there, replenish and restock before you need to talk. </span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Let patience and discretion be your guides. Wait to date. Do your best to hold of on a dating kick-off. It will save you from an unwanted fumble or scrimmage.</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">If you begin to liaise, discuss the terms of this stage. Keep it separate and out of the house.</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Don't be an island. Bring in a captain to help you chart the waters, create rules and arrive at an agreement to live by. Meet with a coach or mediator to help you prepare with care.</span></span></li></ol><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Living separate and apart under one roof is like traveling to a foreign country. In fact, the language, customs and practices you are familiar with may even result in the opposite effect. In order to prepare for your journey, research the world you are traveling to. A streetwise traveler is informed, packs a map, takes a guide and always has telephone numbers and a "safety plan" in case of emergency. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">For more information visit: www.walkthetalkcoaching.com</span></div></div>Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-3940385793449022222009-03-24T18:31:00.000-07:002009-03-28T11:37:21.430-07:00Twitter Etiquitte: Ten Tips For The Elegant Twit<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3b3ZZSENmlB7qiXXp9eQD5UYpUvyFS9Cr3iGGGcKZ_7EwiijBrqXnHYHNcTg8Sg1BT6uO2SYO2z-yJD4NsSaH9XzH0SEkrIXDADkQq67fDIcN6mvmWKqxZN7qDIjKAzdyvrL3Anev89U/s1600-h/twitter.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3b3ZZSENmlB7qiXXp9eQD5UYpUvyFS9Cr3iGGGcKZ_7EwiijBrqXnHYHNcTg8Sg1BT6uO2SYO2z-yJD4NsSaH9XzH0SEkrIXDADkQq67fDIcN6mvmWKqxZN7qDIjKAzdyvrL3Anev89U/s400/twitter.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5317330117162580914" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span">Do you get the jitters when you think about Twitter and does the thought of a tweet leave you shaking in your seat? If you are one of millions pondering the question, "What are you doing?" it may be time to consider how to be a winner when you use Twitter. </span></span><div style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></div><div style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Micro-blogging via Twitter is taking the world by a storm. While 140 characters or less make up a tweet, our fast-paced world has discovered yet another way to share information quickly, concisely and with the click of a twit. Social networking, public relations, marketing or simply informing your followers about WHAT YOU ARE DOING is now faster and free. If you decide to indulge in Twitter consider the following recommendations to help you twit with your wit and not shoot from the hip.</span></span></div><div style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family:arial;"><ol><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">Follow the leader. Explore the world of Twitter and follow others who lead by example. To follow is to lead in the world of twittering. If you don't follow, you cannot lead. Moreover, find a Twitter mentor. You can watch from afar and observe the respectful, appropriate and mindful approach taken by other elegant twits. Pay attention to the purposeful and well-intentioned way they tweet. Follow-suit and you too will be followed by leaders.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">If Twitter is an opportunity to show 360 degrees of who you are, remember you may be better served by keeping some of who you are to yourself. Wherever you go, your tweets will follow. Make sure your tweets are worthy of travel.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">Twitter is a platform that can be accessed via of Firefox, Blackberry, twitter.com, RSS, IPhone and other applications and devices. Remember that when you are alone with your phone, your Blackberry or your computer, the opportunity to send a spontaneous tweet can be compelling - especially in light of its simplicity. Once you push send your tweet will take on a life of its own. To save you from yourself, commit to saving before sending and review the proposed tweet in another venue/setting or at a different time of day, in a different frame of mind.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">Find a TWITITOR. Invite a friend, colleague or trusted confidante to review or edit your tweets if you are not sure if you should send. </span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">Be a good listener. Take the time to listen to the latest buzz on Twitter. You will enhance your Twitter wisdom, be a better communicator and ensure that your profile is one to be proud of.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">Begin with the end in mind. Clarify your Twitter objectives. Are you hoping to promote your business, increase your profile, make connections or stay in touch with friends and family? Define your Twitter vision to ensure that you use this latest technology in service of your goals. </span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">Beware of OCT (Obsessive Compulsive Twittering) . Twitter can be addictive. As a voyeur, participant or recipient of unlimited daily tweets, you may find yourself losing face time with the people around you. Utilize self-imposed limits, put it to sleep, remove the application from your cell phone or lose it completely, if you no longer meet, eat or sleep because you tweet.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">Twitter can be a workplace hazard. Lack of attention to one's work, impulsive information leaks and spontaneous streaming of uncensored information are consequences of careless twits. Be clear about the your ability to tweet while at work. Take note of your company's policy and remember that social networking technology is probably light years ahead of your Human Resource Manual. Be a "foward Twitter" and think ahead.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">Twitter can be like a "Girls Gone Wild" version of IM (Instant Messaging). Get real but don't get naked. It is not the venue to bare your soul, have a temper tantrum or tweet out of control.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">Show respect and RETWEET. Let others know you value their knowledge and information by sharing it with fellow Twitters as your retweet and spread the word. By redistributing great ideas you will further enhance your Twitter appeal. </span></li></ol><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">If part of Twitter's charm is communicating with brevity in 140 characters or less, note that no number is too small to get into a cyber mess. So tweet with care and beware that every tweet lives in perpetuity. Remember "The Tweet Goes ON!"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">For more information visit: www.walkthetalkcoaching.com</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div></div><div style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span></div><div><br /></div>Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6201965526697410961.post-6486175493306420932009-03-22T14:06:00.000-07:002009-03-28T11:18:52.078-07:00Post Divorce Dating (PDD): How To Help Your Kids Plight When Looking For Mr. or Ms. Right<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOopvYZ7dBOEd7JpZ9K9UJUPnZfE3Ae5terg730J0y46gSF3f6XlNOxdnRDgZ3sdwOJt77aZSPeQocQ9eLp-LV-z9bWapvRBeM8yEkXQ5DYdCj7O9Dtf6Q2KlyaZ9zkJb7hyphenhyphenrdzXfKElU/s1600-h/talk-to-your-teen.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 282px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOopvYZ7dBOEd7JpZ9K9UJUPnZfE3Ae5terg730J0y46gSF3f6XlNOxdnRDgZ3sdwOJt77aZSPeQocQ9eLp-LV-z9bWapvRBeM8yEkXQ5DYdCj7O9Dtf6Q2KlyaZ9zkJb7hyphenhyphenrdzXfKElU/s400/talk-to-your-teen.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5316948697220607890" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Why is your child not jumping for joy when they see stars in your eyes instead of tears? After months or even years of stress, sadness and loneliness - how can your child not be thrilled to see you out on a Saturday night instead of home alone reading the latest self help book on surviving divorce? If your offspring is turned off by your dating you are not alone. Your post divorce social life is a challenge to be expected when your children are asked to smile, accept or applaud the arrival of a guest they did not invite into their lives.</span><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">Your child's aversion to your new diversion may be precipitated by the following issues:</span></div><div><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">It may be that your Post Divorce Dating (PDD) extinguishes the flame in your child's reunification fantasy - a hope and feeling many children describe as prevalent.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">Perhaps your PDD leaves your children caught in a loyalty bind or triggers a wide range of confusing emotions they cannot handle.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">From changes in your routine, to the time devoted to dating and its associated distractions, to simply feeling awkward at the thought of a parent as a sexual being - discomfort with parental courtship is common. </span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Your children may feel like they are less important to you. Their role, status and special place in your life may feel threatened.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">A new haircut or color, a fresh fragrance, a unfamiliar wardrobe, a clean shave, lost weight and a new-found mate can leave children wondering where the parent they once knew disappeared to. </span><br /></li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">If PDD is part of your program consider the following beliefs and strategies to help you move forward without setting your children back:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><ol><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Remember, your desire to date is just that - YOUR desire. Your children did not sign up for the PDD Program.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Your children are narcissistic and believe they are enough to meet all of your emotional needs (this is developmentally on task for children and teens).</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Your time-sharing plan was designed for you and your EX. It was not designed for you and your new partner and your EX. They crave time with you.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">When you decide to introduce the concept of PDD - be prepared for discomfort, resistance, anger, anxiety, sadness, curiosity, guilt, anger, ambivalence, confusion, excitement and the evolutionary cycle of the aforemetioned emotional spectrum.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">If you have more than one child, be prepared for different reactions from each child and do not expect their emotional responses to be in synch with one and other. Be sensitive to the slowest common denominator. </span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Be prepared for silence. If the child is not ready or closes the door to the conversation - be sensitive and follow the leader. In this case they lead. This does not mean that they have the right or power to close the door to PDD, but it is a signal to be sensitive to their involvement and integration.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Be prepared for questions. Brainstorm possible questions in advance to ensure that your answers are honest but age appropriate.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Caveat Answeror" - BEWARE OF SHARING TOO MUCH INFORMATION (TMI). In particular, questions from teens and adult children are seductive. Remember that your child is not your confidante, therapist, friend or parent. Even your teen or adult child may not be prepared to handle many of the answers their questions provoke. Be careful and think before you respond. A rule of thumb is: don't share information about your relationship that you would not share with a 10 year old. That is probably all they can handle.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Take it slow. If the relationship is long-term and healthy, over time, your children will develop trust, comfort, and will come to accept your new partner. If it is not a long-term relationship you will have spared them the potential loss, pain and readjustment.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Once integrated, regardless as to the love connection between your children and your new partner, be sure to spend time on your own with your children, maintain traditions your kids love, don't take advantage of their generosity of spirit and desire to see you happy and check in with your children on a regular basis. </span></li></ol><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">PDD is often like serving vegetables to a young child. You believe it is good for them, but the unfamiliar taste may leave them feeling uneasy and at times even queasy. A patient parent does not force feed, but rather, introduces the new experience slowly and respects the child's right to examine the new flavor, take small bites or try it again another time. Take wisdom and patience on your PDD ride, and you will find that in time your children will be firmly planted by your side.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">For more information visit: www.walkthetalkcoaching.com</span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div></div>Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B.,M.S.W., A.T.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05744080484751074533noreply@blogger.com3